Never Letting Go

What is a friend?

Is a friend just someone to talk to? Is s/he just someone you go with to party? To hang out with?

No, it's more than that. Much more. Much much more. Much much much more.

Seven years ago, I became a friend. And the year after that. And the year after that. And the next couple of years after that.

Until now.

Some "friends" take for granted the signature we usualy sign at the end of notes or cards or letters.

xoxo,

_______

Friends Forever!!!! *heart heart heart*

Maybe I did before, when they signed that at the end of their notes or letters or cards for me.

But I meant each and every signature I made to them.

Forever. For all eternity. No matter what. Until the Second Coming. If possible, even beyond that.

I thought being a friend was easy. I mean, you just have to be there everyday to see them, laugh at their jokes, hang out where they hang, say "It's ok" when they cry or just say nothing at all.

As each year passed, I learned my lessons the hard way. I got hurt. I cried. I learned how to care. I loved. Loved like we're of the same blood. One lash at them and I bleed.

I admit, I'm not the perfect friend. There were lots of times I wasn't there for them. Lots of times when I failed to support them.

But not once, NOT ONCE, did I turn away from them.

I've been left alone. It was hard but I managed. I protect. I'm like a bodyguard/chapperone. I was a "mom". I was a sister. I was a strict aunt. At one point, a self-righteous, close-minded, over-controlling *&^$$%*. I admit that.

Now, I let them free.

Free to get hurt and learn.

It hurts a lot. A whole lot. It pains me to set them free.

But I'm never letting go.

I learned to care. I don't want to care. But I do. And setting them free to get hurt... It's not easy.

Not easy at all.

It hurts like sh*t, but I have to. We're all adults now, time to make our own mistakes and learn from them.

I didn't want to grow up. Never did. Ok, maybe a little bit, but not this mush. I wanted to stay 17 forever.

We have to move on. The road is waiting for me. It even prepared special treats for me: quicksand that's impossible to come out of, mountains that reach heaven for me to climb, big boulders to move, warp to suck me in and spit me out to the other side where there's a huge dragon trained to spit fire and fry me in the count of 1.

I'm never letting go.

I've made a vow, a promise, and I've kept it for so long. And I won't break it.

No matter what.