Didn't Feel Like A Weekend At All

I'm so thankful that I've finally gotten my much needed long nap a couple of hours ago. I still have a trillion things to do now but tonight, I'm taking it slow or else I might just.. I don't know, evaporate.

So last Friday, I came to school early for thesis meeting. Then later that day, I stayed until 8pm for history report meeting. Although I'm kind of happy about that 'coz it was a pretty productive one. So that night I went home, crashed in my bed while brainstorming for a tvc idea for class the next day.

I got up at around 6am the next morning to a non-idea-generating brain. So had to sit around and stare into space for a long time until I managed to formulate something in my head, which turned out to be sucky (I thought it was great though, but it wasn't one of my prof's "noted" submissions that day. arg. I have no future in advertising.).

So I got back home to rest for a couple hours until I launch into another project: the "Making History" paper for...yep, you guessed it. History class. It's supposed to be a paper or a creative piece that illustrates how Philippine history can be made relevant in our lives today. Of course at first it was like, duh, this is pointless. But we gotta do it or else fail so... There. I initially thought of writing a "seditious play" like the ones made in the American period, but I just didn't have time. So after hours of conceptualizing the least ridiculous plot my fuzzy head's capable of thinking, I came up with a superhero version of the Philippine history from the Spanish era until the return of MacArthur.

As usual, I thought I could finish it in 8 hours or less. It was a short story, after all. But the story dragged on... until 10 pages, single spaced. True, that doesn't sound too bad. But it was. I typed for 14 hours straight (except for bathroom breaks, lunch, and dinner). Started at around 10AM Sunday morning (I've written the Author's note the previous night) and finished at about 1AM Monday morning. Printed it, and fell asleep at around 2.

You'd think, okay, so at least you finished it. You could rest now.

But wait!

There's another paper due today!

It was the last day of submissions for our philosophy reflection paper. Goodness, that was such a headache. It's supposed to be a reflection paper about the film we watched during midterms week, but that was already a month ago. I can barely remember the scenes. And we have to formulate a question around which the paper would revolve and try to answer. So since my brain was basically mush when I reluctantly woke up at 6AM awhile ago, I thought of the stupidest question ever. I hope my prof doesn't give me a big fat F. I mean, I did answer the question and utilized the lessons we had (I even had footnotes and everything). I just wish I at the very least get a C+ for that. I even cut my beloved Horror Film class just to finish it. :( I missed my weekly dose of scares...

That's why I'm watching Prom Night tonight. :) Yey! A lot of people said that it's crap, but whatever. I need something to relax. I did have a movie night with my bro last Saturday. We had loads of chips (hence the almost 5-lb gain) and watched REC. My bro was such a potty mouth the whole time. I'd love to bring him to Horror Film class one day and see what my prof would do with his non-stop cussing.

So tonight, after drafting another thing for history report, I finally have a few hours to kick back and enjoy. Tuesdays are supposed to be bum days for me since I don't have class the whole day, but September is really proving to be one heck of a hell month because I have to go to school tom for a photoshoot and then afterwards, 4:30 onwards (I wonder until what time onwards is), is another meeting for history report. Argh. Then maybe we'll have another thesis meeting Wed morning, then again history report meeting in the afternoon, and then thesis consultations Thursday morning (8AM!!!) then again history crap that afternoon....

When will it END?!?!?!

I'm....Dying.....*THUD*

So this is the first weekend of a series of torturous weekends to come. I spent yesterday (Saturday) dreaming up a plot for my "seditious" short story for history class. I spent half the night staring at a blank screen, urging creative sentences out of my fingertips. But they wouldn't budge. I thought that a horror movie break would get the juices flowing, but by 2am, I've only typed about half a page, and half of that half is the author's note, which isn't really part of the short story itself. Right now it's almost 3pm. I have finished two whole pages already. The only problem is that that's not yet half of the story.

Argh. How am I gonna finish this and finish another paper (for Philo) by tomorrow morning? Unless I cut my horror movie class. But I absolutely love that class. It's the only class that gets me excited about Mondays. No, I'm not gonna cut that class. I will finish this no matter what! Come on, inspiration! Hit me now!

>.<

I tried squeezing my eyes tightly and concentrating, hoping that I somehow possess Hiro's powers.

It turned out that this tremendous feat only brought out the fart master in me.

Kidding, guys.

It's only the second day of the year and I'm already feeling depressed. Why? Well, one thing is that I didn't complete my new year's eve blogathon. Another thing is that I haven't studied a thing since vacation started, and now I only have 5 days to complete all of the assignments: stuff for events management, prepare for 2 long tests for next week, read really really long readings, and rewrite my notes.

Oh, and yeah, my cousin was shot by some random asshole while he was chatting with his sister outside their house the other day and right now he's at the brink of death.

What kind of sick, twisted world do we live in???

Everything was fine a couple of days ago. I was actually having a happy Christmas. Well, except for two instances when my mom annoyed the hell outta me but I can just be a bitch sometimes so we just forget about it the next day.

We were fine. We were happy. I greeted some people a happy new year too. And then that terrible news came and I just can't help but stop. Just stop. I want everything to stop for a second and just let me digest this situation. How can a wonderful holiday turn into a freakish nightmare, just like that?

I'm not really close with my cousin who got shot. I barely even see him. I only saw him again (after what, eight, nine years?) Christmas morning. He was here and he was smiling and it was great seeing all of them. And then just like that...

Now I'm facing my impending return to the hellhole I call school. I don't know why. I loved school in my sophomore year. I mean, not totally loved it (there were definitely a lot of sucky moments), but this school year is just HORRIBLE. I swear. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere in any subject. Well, I guess it's just theology that I hate. It's not the subject, really. It's more of the teacher.

I mean, he is a pretty cool teacher by normal standards, but seriously, his teaching style sucks. I can't understand what he's trying to say. Even the people sitting right in front of him can't understand what he's saying. I'm actually missing our previous theo prof (who we thought was sent up from the deep south). At least we knew what to answer to pass his course. But this... My prof now makes me dread every MWF. I sit there every session staring at him and concentrating really hard, with everything I've got, just to get the gist of what he's saying. But he keeps on jumping from one point to the other without really explaining each very well. So what I get is just this whole mess of stuff in my notebook that I can't make sense of.

Bah, I don't wanna think about it anymore. Basta, I'm going to look for 150-pesos shoes and clean up my notes and read everything I'm supposed to read. I can't give up now; life will continue to suck anyway.

Shemay!!!!

Ok, after like, what, a month of not checking this blog out, I completely forgot about my chatterbox. Now it's been deleted. Argh! I hate myself. I wanted to keep it going for a long time, and maybe be able to look back at the stupid things I said on it.

ARFGHG!!!!!! &%&^$(&)*(!@%#_)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I wanna stop thinking about that now. This week is stressful as it is. I'm just gonna install a new one.

Ugh. I hate myself!!!!

Anyway, I've got a vat of choco sundae... Nevmind the fat. I just wanna get this week over with!

Comres and Philo, here I come!!!

P.S. I've so much to tell... Oh well. Sembreak = 4 weeks away

Raining! Raining!

Kagagaling ko lang sa school. Lech. Com Res lang pasok ko ngayon. Nakakatamad pa pumasok kasi ulan nang ulan. Hindi naman sobrang lakas at pahinto-hinto rin pero hindi matatakasan ang baha. Kung taga Pinas ka malamang alam mo yun. Kahit ambon, baha na.

So paggising ko kaninang umaga at nakita kong mga YM status message ng mga DLSU people ay variety ng "walang pasok!", ang saya ko na! Ilang beses na rin pumasok ang kuya ko dito sa kwarto, nagtatanong kung wala ba kaming pasok. Eh each time na tanungin niya yun, tinitingnan ko cellphone ko. Wala talagang nagtetext. May pasok.

Ayun. Pagdating ko sa school, nag mud bath nanaman itong paa ko. Tapos dumating na mga kablock ko nagerereklamo na basa na raw mga mediyas nila. Squish squish na ang tunog pag maglakad sila. Si Diwa nagpiga pa ng mediyas sa CR. Tapos may babaeng lumabas, sabi nagdeclare na daw ng suspension of classes ang Malacañang. At iyon ang masusunod above all other announcements. Aysus! Eh wala namang sinabi ang school! Tapos lumabas ang prof namin. Sabi oo nga, dapat suspended na ang klase. Pero since andun na raw naman kami, ituloy nalang. Alanghiya! Eh meron pa namang graded recitation at hindi ko pa nababasa ang pinapabasa! Buti nalang hindi ako natawag kundi tinungangaan ko lang siya.

Oh well. At least nasa bahay na ako ngayon at masaya kasi malamig yey! Pwede akong magsuot ng long sleeves bukas, kung ganito pa ang weather. Sana naman. Ang lamig lang ang silver lining sa araw na ito.

July is Harry Potter Month! 2007 is Harry Potter Year!

It's about time you hear something about Harry Potter from me. The fifth movie, Order of the Phoenix, is only three weeks away and the last book, the Deathly Hallows, is only a month away. July is Harry Potter month. I am so glad that I was born in July. Really, this is the first time I'm this grateful for being a July baby and a Leo. I have finally found a meaning of my life. Harry Potter was also born in July! Only 3 days after my day!

Okay, I did sound moronic there. But whatever. I am excited and no one can stop me from losing my mind.

What makes me sad and bitter is that my brother gets to go to London this July and I can't go with him because I've got school. I'm really happy for him because he gets to properly graduate at last. The ceremony is going to be held in Scotland so he has to travel miles. Isn't that cool or what? An excuse to go travel! He gets to spend about a little over a week there. He'd be there in time for the movie release. I told him to pay attention if he passes big crowds. J.K. Rowling might be there! Or one of the Potter stars. I admire them too. But I really really want to have one of my HP books signed by Mrs. Rowling. I'd die happy after that. He might still be there in time for the book release. I'm not sure though. He's going to go to Hong Kong too. But if I were him, I'd spend all my time in the UK. I mean, how many times has he gone to HK anyway? About 4 or 5! And a lot more times in the future! Now, a UK trip is just a once in a lifetime thing. I really want to go now that I have a really important reason to go. I mean, Harry Potter is ending. And I'm a fan of the book, although seeing a movie's premier is also on my list. I don't want to beg my dad to let me go now because one thing, there's school and late July is midterm week. Also, it's too expensive. My brother's trip alone costs an arm and a leg. Dad can't afford both of us right now when he's still recovering from paying my tuition for the first semester. So he promised me that when I graduate, we will definitely go to London. But I'll be graduating on 2009. I don't think there's gonna be any Harry Potter event then, unless the 7th movie is that easy to make. No. I think the 7th movie will be released on 2010. So I am definitely going to hold off the trip until then. I'd be 23. Oh God.

I can't believe I'm thinking this, but this is the first time I wished I were older. Okay, when I was a pre-teen I wished I were older. When I hit 17, I stopped celebrating my birthday. Kidding. Now I wish I were 2 years older so that I won't have classes now and I'd be working already so i'd have the money and time to go to London. Argh.

Right now. the only thing I'm really thankful for is my not having Saturday classes. I can go to the book release and party! Unless a professor schedules an exam or a field trip of some sort on that day. I would really really be pissed. Really. I'd even cry, if I can't get out of it without flunking the subject.

So anyway, enough of this ranting. I found a couple of Harry Potter stuff over at Mugglenet.com. One is a 3D of 12 Grimmauld Place, the ancestral home of Sirius Black. It only shows the dining area but it's really awesome. Check it out here.

This other thing is an article of the speculation of Harry's fate in book 7. Will he die or not? I found this tip to parents very amusing. It's a tip for them on how to help their children cope if Harry dies. At first I was like, what the hell? Then I remembered how I felt when Sirius and Dumbledore died. I better print that out and give it to my parents. And warn them to hide any rope or sharp objects too. Check it out here.

Okay, that's all for now. I'd be back probably after seeing the 5th movie. Lol! :)

Monda y Again in a Minute!

I don't wanna go back to school... I wanna kick myself in the ass for taking summer classes. It's just sheer torture. I could be just lounging about right now, watching nothing on TV, or playing endless video games with my brother without worrying that I have 54 more pages of a novel I'm having a hard time understanding to finish reading. And I have about... 10 and a half hours left to do it.

I can make that deadline though. About ten pages per hour if I shut my TV off. Which I don't want to do because National Treasure is on Star Movies and it's one of my favorite movies. And I would be bored to death and eventually fall asleep without the barely audible sound of rushing cars and screaming guns (I turned the volume low 'coz someone else is sleeping here).

Maybe after a couple more weeks, I'd be happy with my classes. It's just that I had plans for this summer, like finishing my scrapbook (which I haven't even started on yet) and reading everything that's inside my Unread Books Cabinet. And of course, re-reading all the Potter books before the last one is released. And have marathons of Friends and Charmed. Also, I planned on researching about the Knights Templar and other stuff.

I just can't do all that anymore because of the mountains of readings piled up on me. And a book report due in 5 weeks. And I haven't picked out a book yet! I hate this. It isn't relaxing at all. I'm feeling this apprehension again, the one I hate feeling during school days. It's like I'm a screw-up waiting to happen. I just know that I'm gonna fail somehow, and I'm really scared of what might happen.

I wanna enjoy, I wanna relax, I wanna sleep late and wake up late and worry only about which channel to watch or which movie to see. Now I've gotta worry what the heck Mrs. Dalloway is gonna do next! Argh! And understand how the freaking stock market works!

God help me, please!

Back Home and Straight to Summer Class

I just got home early yesterday morning (around 1:30AM) from a 5-day holiday at Hong Kong. So much fun, so much pain (there was a point where I couldn't walk properly because of so much walking!), and so much spent! Although I wasn't able to buy proper clothes because of my size, I was able to buy 6 t-shirts. Yup, I'm a t-shirt girl 'coz that's all that could fit me in HK. People are so skinny there! I kind of lost about 3lbs because of walking and not eating properly (we were saving our pocket money for later shopping). But I guess I gained all that back just in a day. Ah, curse my non-existent metabolism.

Anyway, everything is still a bit whirlwind for me. about 6 hours after getting back and only 2 hours of sleep, I was thrown back into school which I've only been away from for 2 weeks. Summer class. Economics and Literature, subjects that require understanding and brain-processing, things that my head can't handle yet. So I'm giving myself this week to float around and kind of catch up with the flow, arrange things, and just try to put myself in the summer class zone, if there is such a thing.

In short, this week is solely for procrastination. Haha.

On a brighter note, I've got a ton of Jack Skellington stuff now. Yippee!

I'll upload more stuff about the HK trip this weekend. There's a 15-minute video of the fireworks at Disneyland which is just magnificent I got teary-eyed! Okay, later later! I'll dedicate a long long post with pictures for that.

It's almost midnight now, I've got a ton of homework (which I'm not planning on doing) and a 7:30 class... I need sleep...

So Far..

Ok, so far so good.

I'm at the library right now getting ready for my nap before the next class. I really want to be home right now. It's just...tiring. I don't know. I just miss my bed, my pillows, and my covers so much. I am so looking forward to lying down with a bowl of ice cream and some cookies, the air condition on so everything's chilly and comfortable, the lights out, curtains drawn, the tv on. I want it to be so relaxing and bum-ish that I'd momentarily forget that tomorrow, I'd have to get up at 7am and face another torturous session of volleyball.

How will I ever pass that subject?

And how will I fit into my PE clothes after all that holiday eating?

I'm staring at my Spanish book right now, trying -pretending- to review. We're supposed to have an oral evaluation today.

What do I do?!

Argh.

So.

Como es tu navidad?

Mi navidad es aburrido y mui malo.

Good enough? I hope so. Okay.

I've finally come up with a New Year's resolution. Seeing that I only have 82 posts in 2006 which is very little compared to the 113 of 2005, I've decided to post every single day of this year, no matter how busy. Even just short, nonsensical posts. There. I have to sleep now.

Looking Back On 2006

As I sit here on my bed cursing our administration for making us go back too soon, I chanced upon WWE Bottomline on JackTV which was reviewing the big events of last year.

The host (sorry, forgot his name) then went back to last year's New Year's Revolution, the one with the elimination chambers. The one where I first saw John Cena.

Yes, it was love at first sight of his bloody, bloody face.

As I've probably said in my previous posts, I've stopped watching wrestling for years... The last guys I remember being at the top of WWE (which I remembered was WWF still...so that was sooo long ago) were Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. That was back, when, 1999? 2000? Somewhere there.

Okay, enough of that history.

So there, as I watched Cena get the Master Lock and flail aroung lifelessly, I remembered the day when my love for WWE came back. I got curious again, of course, a big factor was because RAW was scheduled to come here that February. I held back from buying a ticket 'coz I already got BSB tix which cost me a fortune. But after a few more weeks of watching, I got hooked. So on the day of the second show (my bro went to the first one and told me all about how great it is), I didn't let the coup s' etat stop me from stalking to Araneta Coliseum and by a standing only ticket and watch by myself.

I'm glad I did. And I never stopped since.

Then DX got back together which was tremendous 'coz they're so f*cking crazy/cool. I missed them. Batista got back and got the Championship back. Smackdown came. The Hardy Boyz got back together (I love Jeff Hardy!). It was an amazing year for WWE. Oh, and they acquired ECW.

Seeing last year's New Year's Revolution's main event, the one that pulled me back to the WWE bandwagon, it just...made it sink in. The fact that that was a whole year ago.

That was a whole year ago.

And right now, I'm waiting for this year's New Year's Revolution to be shown.

What happened?

What happened last year? Has anything changed? Cena's still Champ. Batista is also. I'm still fat and ugly and boyfriendless and broke and Ipodless. But I'm also a year older, a year closer to graduating.

What will this new year bring?

I don't know. I haven't made any new year resolutions. I don't wanna bother anymore ;coz I always fail to keep them. I'm still wishing for a little more excitement. Something nice and surprising to happen. But maybe it's the little things that count, right? So...what were the little things?

I'm just thankful that I'm still alive, I still have my friends and family and we're still all well.

Still, I can't help but feel there's something missing. D'you know that feeling? Sometimes I get guilty for feeling that. I mean, it feels so selfish of me, wanting somehting more when I'm better off than about half of the population if this country. Why isn't this enough for me? It ought to be. I'm very blessed. I am thankful. But why is there still something that I look for?

Sigh.

I'll let you know if I've found it.

Title Change

for Joyce.

Two down (okay, one and a half), a million more to go.

These readings just don't end.

And I have four days to finish them.

At least one line in them was true. I already know this stuff. Why give it a fancy name?

Because I don't know everything.

Yeah, I don't. But I don't want to. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!

I just want to have a merry little Christmas.

And yet I'd be stuck in an internet-free zone for a week finishing up two major papers and a book, and maybe a truck-load more readings.

Whoopdi-doo.

What a sad sad day.

I think this is one of the most mixed-up days of my college life. I had Theo orals first thing in the morning, and I absolutely flunked it. I'm sure. It sucks.

After that, I just wanted to put it out of my mind. I didn't want Theo to ruin my day. I was looking forward to spending the rest of it in Goth fashion (although I think I looked more Avril Lavigne-ish, which was NOT what I was going for). We had our last neverwear day for the sem (and the only one, so for, that I've participated in). Our theme? Our beloved prof, the coolest prof I've ever known from his all black outfit (I've never seen him in other colors) down to every ring on his figners. And he has the awesomest pen bag. Lets just call him... Jack Skellington. :)

It was so nice and heart-warming, for me, when he popped his head in the classroom door and paused. "Why are you guys all in black?" he asked. "Sir, it's neverwear day," my blockmate replied, "and you're our theme!" He went, "Oh. Wow. My children!" He said it with a huge grin. It was funny, 'cause he so doesn't look like someone who'd have kids. I mean, for the time being anyway. He's, I think, thirty, but he looks hip like a twenty-something.

I actually listened intently to everything he said awhile ago (because I was guilty of being totallyinattentive last meeting - I just kept on talking with my seatmate, haha. my other blockmate told me that we could be heard up front, and was a bit disctracting to our prof. sorry sir!!). Also, it was partly because I was happy that he was happy that we looked" like him. We looked like a cult of some sort. Haha! And it's the first time I've worn eyeliner to school (which, my friend told me, suited me nicely, and asked me to wear eyeliner everyday, which I won't, because it gets smudged when I sweat, and there's no "special" factor if I do it everyday).

So there, I was paying attention and actually heard what we're supposed to do with the final project. We had our media experience part (which is about the video up there---> he's there. our prof. Haha. Guess which guy he is) and everyone was laughing and stuff. He started to talk about the expectations we wrote on our index cards and apologizing for not being able to accomplish some of them. And then when the bell was about to ring, he said, "So guys, thanks for the sem..." We were like, 'What sir? It's over? How about Thrusday?" He told us that we could just meet up on Thurs if we want to discuss the project, but that was our last proper class.

I wasn't expecting it to end that day. It was lucky we had the neverwear day today. At least his last memory of us was...black?! Hahah! We even had a class picture thing. Aw. I'm gonna miss that class. I felt like I wdidn't give much input in it (I really didn't) and it ended...just like that. :(

But then, Psych came. No, I wasn't exempted. How could I, I'm stupid. Then we got called to stay after class. It's something about the project, our prof said. My heart couldn't have sunk lower at that point. I thought, "This is it. We flunked. I flunked Theo, I haven't slept, the previous class is over, and now, I've probably flunked the project. Great. I suck. My life sucks." I admit, I almost got teary that time. I felt like I couldn't take any more disappointment at that point. My seatmate even told me that she did see me like, fall apart silently. It was such a relief when we finally got to talk to our prof and she told us that our project was quite interesting and that she only needed to know how we got the whole thing together. Phew. I was at the brink of killing myself with tubs of ice cream and a bucket of KFC.

Well, I actually bought the ice cream and some chips. And yey to my bro for bringing home donuts. I am so in my depressed state right now that I don't care if I'm bloated tomorrow. Maybe I'd just put eyeliner on so they'd be drawn in to my eyes, not my fat butt.

Feeling Shitty

Wow, another month had passed. Well, almost.

Sigh.

It's almost 3 AM and I'm still awake. I have to get to school at around 6:30 AM tomorrow. What the hell am I doing up?

One thing, I'm finishing the freaking story I was plugging in the previous post. Yeah, I thought a week should do it, but it's almost a month and I haven't finished yet. It's looking like it'll extend until 20 chapters. Great.

I can't really be vivid here because blog hunters prawl in the shadows. They might see this, and identify me as me, so I can't really diss any real people here. All I wanna say is, well, related to the title. This afternoon, in school, I was doodling, and suddenly I got called for recitation. I had no idea what I was going to say. I tell you, the person standing in front wasn't someone you'd gladly have tea with, if you know what I mean. So yeah, I hope I didn't get on that person's bad side, or else I might me looking into summer school as early as this month. I'm kinda scared, so I'm feeling shitty. It's my fault I let my head float in the clouds, knowing that someone's bound to be watching me. I'll keep my nose clean this time and pay attention and never be late again (except maybe on tuesdays and thursdays).

On a happier note, Lee Dong Wook, my love, is here in my home country. I am ecstatic! I'm planning on finding out where he's staying and stalk him until he leaves, but, that's Julianne's work (if you haven't read the story I plugged, you wouldn't know what I'm talking about so go click it now!). I need a Kash to be with me, and hopefully get that snowy moonlight kiss, too. But we don't have snow here so...so much for that.

I've got a new phone, nothing fancy, but it has a camera so I'm uber happy with it. Finally, after a year and a half of being left behind in techies, I'm finally back in the game. That mobile phone photo contest just sounded a bit more interesting now that I have the cam phone.

Anyhoo, toodleoo to all of you. I need to shut my eyes now 'coz my head is starting to throb. Hoorah for the newly-fixed internet connection.

'Til next!

Tenth Day of Christmas

Today's a really exceptional day. Well, nothing life changing happened to me, just something that made my heart beat a million beats per second.

No, I didn't meet Prince William.

I had an 8:30 am class, but I couldn't get up. Too sleepy. So I decided to cut that and just go to the 10:30 class because it's the important one anyway for we had a long test. So I got up at 9 and finished preparing at 10 and went to school. I usually get to school in 30 minutes or less. But I don't know what's wrong with this day. The traaffic's sooooo heavy! Every street we slipped into was clogged. ARGH!

I got to school at 11.

Can you believe that?! And the class ends at 11:30, but the bell rings at around 11:25 so I only had a little less than 25 minutes to take the test! It's lucky my prof allowed me to take it. Thank GOD!!! And I usually get home in 45 minutes to 1 hour, but I got home in 1 hour and 30 minutes today!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TRAFFIC TODAY?!?!?!?!

So today, I have lots of things to be thankful for, but here is the top 12:

My Physics teacher - for being uber understanding!
Fried chicken - the best food ever!!!
Chicken pops - the best food in popcorn form!
Converse - Chuck Taylors are the best!!!
Spongecola - I saw them!!! Up close!!! No, didn't get an autograph.
Eye glasses - wouldn't be at SM and see Spongecola if not for them! (they're my mom's btw)
Friendster - kahit gasgas na, still it keeps me connected to my long lost (ok, that's exag) friends!
Digital cameras - just click and click, no film wasted!
Phones with built-in cams - I miss my 7650...
Email services - but I think owl post is better
24-hour delivery - I'll never get hungry ever again! (except when I don't have money...)
4A - never forgetting the spirit

Despicable!!!

My Yahoo Messenger status message right now:
Sinusumpa ko na ang fil hanggang mag Second Coming

Translation:
I'm cursing Fil until the Second Coming

Today was the earliest exam time I had all week--> 7:30 am. I woke up early to brush up on some notes on fil which didn't really help. I got to school 10 minutes before the exam. I was happy. I rushed to K201 where they said the exam would take place. At the bottom of the stairway to K201, I met three of my blockmates. They were running; they looked harassed. I smiled and said hi. They asked me if I brought my fil book.

No, I didn't.

We need it.

Sh*t. C'mon let's go look for a photocopy machine.

Every photocopy station is still closed.

Lib.

Still closed. it opens at exactly 7:30.

We'll be late.

Better late than no copy of the story and flunk the test.

Ok, lib.

-run run run-

We met another two of our blockmates by the lib. They brought their books. Dang. The freakin' beadle (teacher assistant?) didn't tell all of us what were supposed to bring. My internet connection's broken down yesterday (that's why no new post!) so I didn't get to check my mail or see the Yahoo group. Lisa said there wasn't anything posted on the group. Dang. It's not our fault we didn't know we're supposed to bring the book. But as usual, this is college, everything is our fault now. If we get hit by a car because the driver is freakin' blind and drunk, it'll still be our fault.

So we waited right in front of the lib's doors, and barged right in when the guard flipped the sign from CLOSED to OPEN. We checked the ground floor. No one's at the photocopying center.

Upstairs!

Unluckily, I was wearing a pair of really loose pants. So I had to hold my pants up while running or it'll really fall off. So we got to the machine and had a million copies printed because a million of our blockmates didn't get the message that we're supposed to bring the freakin' book. That's not our fault. If it's only me, then, yeah, but there were a million of us so that meant that the friggin' beadle didn't do his job well.

Off we went to the exam building. It was a long run. I can't run fast. I can't run long distances. I tire easy. I mean, with the extra hundred pounds on me, how can I run as fast as the people with me who are half my weight? Nope, not my fault. This is because of the genes I inherited from my ancestors. Both my mom's and dad's families are well, big, so it's their fault.

With pants held high above my waist, I ran as fast as I could to the exam room.

So I got the exam booklet and the questionairre and the copy of the story. It was a dang long story. I spent an hour reading it. Wer've exhausted 15 minutes of the exam time with the photocopying, (not our fault we didn't know we're supposed to bring the book) so I had 45 minutes left to make an outline worth 20 pts and psychoanalyse the characters in the story and plan my essay carefully because neatness is worth 10 pts and of course, content worth 20 pts. A couple of paragraphs into the essay, the prof announces, "25 minutes left!"Just imagine how panicked I got. My outline still looked like sh*t, and my brain is so scattered I can't pull my thoughts together.

Time's up! Pass your papers.

I'm not done yet!

I'll just be upstairs. When your done, go up and give me your papers.

So again, with pants held high, we ran upstairs. I looked like a marathon runner on a relay race. I was running, clutching my pants, with my arm outstretched and calling after my prof.

This is the stupidest most despicable day in my whole life as a college student.

All because of fil.

Burning in HELL 2

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

I sure hell hope that I really do have BIG potential! Because I'm losing hope in myself. The world became a darker place - all because of stupid Fil.

We had our second long exam awhile ago. It was for 40 points, passing was 35. Guess what i got.

Thirty-freakin'-four!!!

I mean, GAWD, 1 point?!

So anyway, our prof made us go to this Fil poetry reading before, and he said that whoever goes, he'll add like, 10 points in the long test. I don't think he added it yet, so I still have hope! If not, I need to get at least 80% in the finals. This is just so IMPOSSIBLE!!! I mean, I didn't even reach 70% of the test awhile ago and that was about stories that I have already read. In the finals, they're gonna give us a new story and a new poem to rub our brains to. So how the hell am I going to do that. I don't even understand half the shit I answered awhile ago.

Call me stupid (I know I am), but what the hell is ideological apparatus blah? Ok, so we've discussed that and I have a vague idea what it is, but I swear, I didn't understand anything. I mean, how can a basurero and a chopped off leg with a Nike shoe got to do with sexual orientation? Please, anybody up there, help me out because I'm BURNING IN HELL.

burning in HELL

This is like, the worst day ever. I hate my life. Ok, not all of it but... I just HATE HATE HATE school!!! I know I've said this before, but believe me, I've never meant it this much.

I just want to thank LINKIN PARK for coming up with the song IN THE END because it's the perfect soundtrack for my life. And next in line is HARI NG SABLAY by Sugarfree (tama ba?)

"I've tried so hard and got so far
In the end it doesn't even matter"

This morning, I was almost late for FIlipino class. I got inside the classroom just in time for the teacher to call my name, roll call. So, good timing isn't it? The makings of a pretty ok day.

DEAD WRONG!!!

So it was the day of our reporting. We're supposed to analyze a short story, do psychoanalysis on the characters or view it in a Marxist way or whatever. So there. I spent like, an hour last night deciphering all these context stuff and all that deep stuff that I felt my brain liquify. I wrote it in a 1 whole piece of paper, because my printer's not working. I planned on just handing it to whoever's gonna be picked for reporting.

It goes like this. So we're a group, right. And the teacher is gonna pull out a name from an envelope. Whoever's name that is is gonna be a reporter for his/her group. So in short, our grades rely on that single person. A week ago, I was praying not to get picked. I really hate speaking in front of people. I get so tongue-tied and my hands get really cold and I just babble endlessly, not making snese at all. But I really prepared for this report. I knew what I was supposed to say. Our prof was looking for all that deep shit in out reports, and I dug and dug into the story until I unearthed all the deep stuff that he wanted us to report about. I really need to get an A in this report, it's 40 items for goodness' sake. I got an F in the advisory marks because of our...let's just say, out former prof. Someone might come across this blog and have it broadcasted school-wide like what happened to that poor girl who dissed the priests of our school. Nothing's safe anymore. No freedom of speech, I tell ya. Better write down the vital thoughts in a real diary.

So anyway, I was kinda relieved when I wasn't called for reporting. But I was worried because the groupmate of mine who was to report said he couldn't do it, that he didn't know what to say. I don't want to point fingers here. It's not his fault. The thing that pissed me off was that our prof was sooo grouchy this morning. Ok, if you're a prof, you should be patient, right? You should understand your students, help them learn. What our prof did was while my groupmate was reporting, he stood up, walked to the window and looked outside, as if he was in his own house with nothing to do. And then as if that's not enough to make us all uncomfortable, he even went out of the classroom and walked along the corridors. While my groupmate was reporting. I mean, please, teachers are supposed to be examples for us, role models. Doesn't he know what the meaning of the word RUDE means? His excuse for hus really really really rude behaviour was that he didn't understand a thing of our report. Well, yeah, I know our report sucked, but will you please show a little respect? I mean, if he was explaining something and I couldn't understand it and I suddenly stand up and look outside the window, he's probably get mad right and kick me out of the classroom. And probably fail me. I mean, we are all anxious about our grades because almost the whole class got F's in the advisory marks. Please show a little patience towards us. We may have sucked, yes, but we're sucky reporters who have feeling too, you know.

I liked him pa naman. Our prof, I mean. He was a good teacher. He explained everything to us. I understood his lessons unlike our previous prof, whom he replaced. But that thing he did today. That was just... I don't wanna say it. I'm just so mad. Ok, so my groupmate was a little off, but the prof is supposed to be the more mature of the two, and so is supposed to be the one who'll give, who'll understand. But NO. He just walked around, insulting us. I was thinking that if that were me reporting, I would've done a bit better. But I didn't have the chance. And our prof treated us like we're some dog poo he stepped on the sidewalk and impatiently wiped off on the concrete. I had a really really bad day. I didn't feel so good after that first period. I have this strong feeling that I'm gonna have to take up this same subject next semester. I didn't function very well after that period. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep and just let eveything go.

The bad thing is, we have our 4th Math long test that afternoon.

So I went to the library, still tulala because of what happened. I fell asleep around 9:30, woke up at 10. Some big guy bumped my table really hard it made me jump. But it was an accident. God's little way of waking me up, because believe me, I almost didn't have the intention to wake up. I was sooo depressed. I still am. So there, studied for 2 hours. I reviewed last night. I analyzed the solutions, how to do things, the patterns and stuff. Once I know how to do it, I'll pass.

BUT NOOOOOOOO...

I think it's the devil's birthday today or something because everything just went downhill. Down, down, down, until the deepest level of hell. So there, I sat in my Math class, nervous yet feeling alright. The questionairres came along and....

SHIT.

I didn't know how to do anything. There were 20 numbers for multiple choice, 4 points each. I wildly guessed about 10 of those because I was out of time. The remaining 20 points was for problem solving. I don't know what I did. As long as I came up with an answer then it's good enough.

I probably flunked that test. There goes my dream of getting a B. Or even a C+.

MY LIFE SUCKS.

I'm wishing to get hit by a lightning and die.

I wish I was in some other world, you know? Why wasn't I born into the HP world. I wish I was just a character in those books. At least my life would have adventure and I can swish and flick my wand and make things appear. And they don't have to do Math and those analyzing shit! Except if you're trying to be Hermione.

Hay...

I can't think of anything to post right now... I'm, as usual, faithfully counting down to the day HBP will grace me with its presence. My blockies were planning to go out this Friday, and I told them I couldn't come. So they moved it to next next Saturday, which is on July 16! I screamed, "NO WAY!!!" They were startled and then they asked why. So I told them.

JULY 16, 2005--> Release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

They said, "What?! Yan lang?! The book can wait!"

Yeah, it can, but I CAN'T!!!

They just don't understand... I've waited two whole years for that book. I've already carefully strategized my reading schedule so that it wouldn't clash with my homework and stuff. We don't have classes on Saturdays. Every Friday, I'm in school until only 11:30, so I have the rest of the day to study for Math. Long test on July 19! So on Sat and Sun, I'll have two whole days to read it. I'm going for an hour a chapter. Jo Rowling said that Book 6 is shorter than Book 5, so I think HBP will only run until Chapter 30 or 31 at most. If I only sleep for like, 5 hours... I'd have the bottom half of Sunday to do schoolwork! Yehey! I hope we don't have any long tests the following day, or else I'm sure I'd fail them.

Oh please oh please oh please let that Saturday be INTAC free or anything else free. And let the book arrive at like, 6am!

Graduation Practices

We have them until March 23rd. Dude, as if we need walking lessons... But anyway, it's fun. (kinda) We get to see each other as high school students for the last 2 weeks of our high school lives. I brought my camera awhile ago, but didn't get to shoot any shots...(redundat ain't it?) I was busy scribbling away descriptions of my friends for the yearbook. I hope they're good enough. :) English rehearsals were from 8:00 - 11:00 am, Chinese rehearsals were from 1:00-3:00. The English, although quite boring in the middle, is bearable. But the Chinese... Gawd! We sang that same song over and over and over and over and now it's stuck in my head! It would've been alright, if not for the weird lullaby-ish tune that brings me to sleep from the first note 'til the last. Tomorrow, I'll be bringing a huge, thick book, kinda like Harry Potter to ease the boredom of it all...Unless it gets confiscated. I'd probably bring Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. I'm currently reading it, and it is so far as good as The Da Vinci Code. (I'm only in page 16) Am I still making sense? I'm getting exceedingly sleepy right now... I better doze off for a bit. Gotta work later... Gotta earn some cash ya know, 'coz summer's here! And Usher maybe coming so...! Ciao!

Chinese History

Yep, that's our exam for tomorow. I have three testpapers to study and three pages of notes... And I absolutely have to get 90+ here, or else the grade in my card would drop... Argh! I hate this! There'll be no sleeping again later. I'll start at 7pm... I'll have dinner first! :) Anyways, today is the second day of my last week of studying in Saint Jude Catholic School. I don't wanna think about leaving... Every exam, there's always something, a question or something, about our graduating. And everytime, I feel my eyes water. I'm not emotional, but yeah, it's this time of my life... another step, another door to close, another world to conquer. I don't show what I feel, unless I want to, but most of the time I don't. Like sometimes, I'm really proud of my friends or I'm really happy about something, I just keep quiet. But there are times that I go all hyper and stuff! But I don't show that much emotion... I bet right now, my friends don't know how much I love them and how sad I am to have to part with them. This would be the most bittersweet summer I'll ever have. And then there's him... I saw him again today. (Duh, he's my classmate...) He looks funny. Haha! I wish I could tell him... I really do. But we had this activity last time when we were supposed to have a minute with each of our classmate and tell them how we feel about them. And when I was face to face with him, nothing... How could I say it?! He'll run away, as far as possible, from me. Because she is beautiful and I'm not, and no matter how hard I try, no matter how pacute or how "sweet" I get, she's still beautiful, and I'm not. That's why I was ecstatic when he said that i'm pretty. I think he only said that because he's being nice, but, just let me assume here... Let me pretend that for one moment, I looked pretty in his eyes. This is so pathetic. Why am I typing this anyway?! Lishr, here I come!