-BER Months

It's already the middle of the first -BER month of the year.

Time flies by too quickly. I feel like I couldn't catch up to it. It seems like just awhile ago, I was sitting in 4-A classroom with my head stuck inside the cabinet beside me, asleep. Now, here I am, almost done with my first term in college. 4 weeks to go!

I love the -BER months. One reason is because the weather gets colder during these months. Like today, I was able to wear my polo-in-sweater thing. I look good with a collar. =) It was cool enough not to make me perspire, unlike last week, I wore the same thing and I almost died of heat.

Another reason is, OctoBER. I LOOOOVE Halloween! Jack o' lanterns, witches flying over the moon, trick or treat... I just love this holiday. I'm into HP as you can see, so it's like HP galore! I just wish I'd be able to go trick or treating even once in my life. My friends are all planning to go trick or treating this year, but my mom already reserved me for a trip to the province. So yeah. There are real ghosts there. But no candies.

And of course, it's SEMBREAK time! And Christmas break time! Ok, so I'd have no allowance for a month during sembreak. Tough break. I'd have to look for some source of income... Sinong gusto magpasulat ng takhai at siaokhai jan??? 1 month akong walang gagawin!

Last but not the least, there's CHRISTMAS!!! Yehey! My favorite time of the year! I love this Yuletide season! Here in the Philippines, Christmas season starts when the first day of the -BER months arrive! So now, it's technically Christmas season already. My dad even got into the spirit. He asked me to burn Christmas songs CDs for him and he's playing it in the car! It's the first time he's taken an interest on things like that. I mean, I only see/hear Mom playing Christmas songs and really getting into the Christmas Spirit! Isn't it funny? But soo nice.

So of course, what is Christmas without the wishes? Hehehe! So now, I've deviced a pretty conciseWISH LIST... for those who are thinking of sending me a pressie... Hihihi.

Napasabog ko nanaman TV ko!!!!!!

Ang tanga-tanga ko talaga!

Hay nako, nakakapeste talaga! Lahat nalang sira! DVD player ko sira! Parang tanga, ayaw bumukas! Ang laki ng problema nun eh! Tapos kanina naman, pag-uwi ko, siyempre manunuod ako ng tv diba, kelan ba ako hindi nanuod ng tv? So binuksan ko yung transformer, tapos pinindot ko yun power button ng tv.

Wala.

Pagtingin ko, hindi na nakasaksak! Naku po! Eh takot ako sa mga saksakang ganyan! Talaga oo. Kapag bumabagyo talaga, sumasabog tv ko. Dati kasi, like, 5 years ago, nung grade 6 pa ako, panahon ng tagbagyo nun eh. Eh nanunuod ako ng tv. Tapos nag-brown out yata nun. Eh may i-rerecord pa naman ako na tv show. Concert ng BSB yun eh. Oo, corny. Reminder, grade 6 nga ako nun eh. So anyway, ayun, pinag-aalis yata yun mga saksakan o ako yun nag-alis. Di ko na maalala. Grade 6 pa yun eh. Basta nung sinaksak ko na ulit, nasaksak ko sa 220V, eh 110V lang pala yung tv. Ayun.

KABOOM!

Eh kaninang madaling araw, nag-brown out din. Kaso di naman ni Nanay tinanggal sa saksakan yung tv eh kasi nanuod pa siya ng tv nung mga alas sais, tinitingnan kung may pasok ba o wala, Ang lakas kasi ng bagyo kaninang madaling araw eh. Parang hinuhulugan ng malalaking bato yung bubungan namin kaninang madaling araw sa sobrang lakas ng ulan.

Pag-uwi ko, manunuod ako ng tv. Kelan ba ako hindi nanuod ng tv? Kaya binuksan ko yung transformer at pinindot yung power button.

Wala.

Nakita ko na hindi na nakasaksak. Patay. Hindi ko maalala kung ano ba yan, 220V o 110V. Grade 6 panga noong huli kong nalaman eh. So sinubukan ko sa 220V. Binuksan ko yung transformer.

BZZZT!

Nagulat ako, Pinatay ko agad yung transformer. Inamoy amoy ko, baka may amoy sunog na saksakan. Wala naman. Umakyat si Nanay. Sinabi ko sakanya ang tungkol doo. Pinatawag niya si Orig para tingnan. Sinaksak-saksak ni Orig at sinubuksubukang ma-on ang pinakamamahal at ang kaisa-isang ikinabubuhay ko na tv. Wala.

Ayaw na bumukas.

Wala na akong buhay.

Kaya etong computer nalang ang pinagtitripan ko kasi wala na akong ibang buhay. Siguro nangyari yun para maitalaga ang pangako kong tatapusin ko na ang pagbasa sa dalawang nobela para sa Filipino.

Oo na. Mamaya na paggising ko.

2nd World White Band Day ---> TODAY!!!

September 10, 2005 ---> White Band Day 2

Wear a white band wherever you are today and show that YOU CARE!
Help make poverty history!

This is a campaign by the Make Poverty History organization. I texted everyone to wear a white band, even just a simple white ribbon around their wrists to show their support and to remind world leaders meeting today in New York that we're still waiting for them to take action and make poverty history.

Get involved! Click on the link above and join the organization! You don't need to do BIG things. You can help by simply spreading the word about this org or by adding a white band to your website/blog! (See upper right corner of this blog)

What's to come?

Since I started college, I spent more and more time wondering.

• What am I doing here?
• What is it that I have to do?
• Where am I going?
• What will happen to me now?
• What next?

I'm so confused. I'm so bored. I feel like I'm going in circles. Am I the only one that feels this way? Is there someone out there like me?

Sometimes, I think of just stopping. I just want to let this all go. I want to do something else. I'm tired of studying. I'm 18, and I've been studying since I was two. I may not be at the top of the class, but I did manage to get into ADMU, my mom's dream school for me. To tell the truth, I don't want it there. Well, maybe because my close friends aren't there. And although there are a few high school people that I do talk to, I seldom see them. Only twice a week maybe. Or less. I don't know. I just want to stop. I'm tired of all this.

I just want to write.

In The Apprentice, the present season has two teams. One team consists of college graduates, the other is composed of high school graduates. But guess what, the HS grads have higher net worth than that of the college grads. The HS grads are equipped with experience, and that made them successful in life.

I've been thinking of that. If the HS grads in The Apprentice can do it, why can't I? Of course there's also the fact that they're in the USA and I'm in the third world Philippines. Being a college grad isn't even enough here. You have to attend graduate school, maybe even get a PhD to have an edge against all the other applicants for a job.

So that means I have to spend like, six more years of my life studying.

I don't mind studying. It's alright. I was thinking that it's just that, I'm so tired of the routine of my life. Wake up, go to school, go home, eat, watch tv, sleep. Everyday since sixteen years ago, that's what I did. I need a change. Extra curricular stuff? I have those. I'm too lazy to do them, though.

I need a change of setting. I want to be someplace else. Maybe if my parents threw me to London to study, I wouldn't mind. I'd miss a hell of a lot of things from home of course, but at least that'll be a whole new experience. New faces, new places, new things to discover.

Maybe even love? Hmm.

But anyway, as I lay here, trying to understand the video clips assigned to us to watch by our teacher (the audio is just horrible, I can't understand a thing the person in the video says), a quote circles my mind for the hundredth time:

Sometimes, we wish we were someone, wish we were somewhere, wish we had that someone. But sometimes we wish too much that we miss to enjoy who we are, where we are and who we have.

So now I think about it. Maybe I'm just so eager to get out of here that I don't appreciate what I have right now. But I do. I appreciated my home, my family and my friends more. I appreciate the little things like spending even just 5 minutes with my mom and dad, letting my brother stay for a couple more minutes here in my room although I'd really like to be alone already, sending out messages to my friends, just to let them know I remember them even just for a minute. I appreciate getting into this prestigious school. But I just can't shake the feeling that there's something missing. It's like, there's something else I want to do. I see kids like JoJo, Jesse McCartney, Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff. They're all my age, even younger, and they've already made a name for themselves. They've already made their mark in the world. I'm just frustrated with the fact that I'm this old and nothing exciting, nothing special, just plain nothing, no accomplishments whatsoever, has happened to me yet. I've waited since 4th year in high school. I thought, "Yeah, this is my last year in high school, I have to make things happen. And I bet something special will happen this year. There has to be something special. It's my last year." I tried everything. I joined contests and programs and more clubs and of course, the Sportsfest. But what happened? Nothing life-changing. Nothing I can write about that will make people sigh in awe or kahit kiligin man lang sila nang konti.

I'm just a worthless piece of sh*t.