BWISET!!!

Lintek naman kasi may nagcoconcert sa park sa tapat ng bahay namin! Nakakaasar talaga! Bakit ba hindi nalang sa barangay hall sila doon sa tapat ng Agora mall? At least doon commercial area eh ampucha naman residential area dito eh! Ang hirap hirap nanga intindihin ni Kant dagdagan ba naman ng dumadagundong na mga bass! Kailangan kong ulit-ulitin para lang makatagos sa utak ko yun mga sentence dahil sa ingay! Tapos eto pa si Kant eh ang haba haba ng mga sentences eh lintek kaya namang sabihin si iisa o dadalawang sentence ang ibig-sabihin. Pahirapan pa talaga eh! Hindi nanaman ako makakatulog, tapos kelangan ko pa gawan ng 1-page paper ito na kailangan kong paghusayan dahil C+ lang ako sa orals. Ano ba yan! Bakit ba! Tapos bukas I have about 5 things to do! Wala pa akong nachecheck sa list ko! Lintek naman ang ingay! Hindi ko naman mareklamo yan sa barangay diba eh kasi PARA SA MGA BARANGAY OFFICIALS ANG PARTY!!! Nakakabuwiset talaga! Dati ok naman dito tahimik naman ayan ginawang party place ang park!

Pero in fairness yun mga singers, ewan ko sinong bands pero basta anjan si Jimmy Bondoc, kuhang kuha yun mga kinocover nila na foreign songs. With You ngayon ni Chris Brown ang kinakanta. OK naman.

Speaking of Chris Brown, nabalitaan niyo na ba ang kaso niya? OMG talaga. WTH. Bakit niya nagawa yon, kung ginawa ba niya talaga iyon.

So ayun lang. Pipilitin ko nang makarating sa page 5. Grabe. 34 pages man, tapos ang font niya ay parang TNR 8. Lintek talaga. I will invest in soundproofing materials na rin.

Last Three Weeks

I've been feeling like I'm drowning in schoolwork since last week. Well, I'm actually one of the fortunate ones who felt that way only last week. There are people who have been struggling to stay afloat since the sem began. Heck, since the year began because of thesis. Ugh.

Anyway, I've written a 30-something-item task list last week. I've officially ticked off about 12 boxes so yey for me. The only problem is that for every box I check, two more get added. Argh. It's a bottomless task list.

Okay, not really, since there are only three weeks left in the seniors' school year. Each of the days in those three weeks are jam-packed with requirements though so it feels more like years rather than weeks. I want all the requirements to end. I just want to get things over with. But at the same time, while I was having one of my precious "staring blankly at empty space" breaks, I realized that this time, when the schoolwork ends... It really is the end of it. I mean, further education is more of a luxury than a necessity still, just a little bit, so unless I do that right away, the end of Feb is really the end of schoolwork for me.

It scares me. It really scares me. After this, I actually have to do something with my life. I actually have to do something. I was envisioning a summer-long bumming around period but the fact that I applied for an internship position that I'm perfect for and had the right credentials for and haven't received a reply until now (sent the email 3 weeks ago) just made me uneasy. I mean, I know I am the person for that job. And it's an unpaid internship. It's not like I'm doing it for the money. The only thing they'll be spending on me is space and a little time and effort. Not getting accepted to a job I'm sure I can do made me think about what would happen if I apply for something I'm not that confident about?

I'm really effing annoyed. Really. Really really really. Maybe I should snail mail my application too in case the contact person doesn't really check her inbox. Or maybe my application got sent to junk mail. Seriously. This is the second time I applied for an internship in that company. I don't know if I'm just such a loser or if getting in there requires some inside connection because the ones I knew who got an internship position there knew someone from inside.

I'll call them in March.

I have to get back to Kant now.

Brand New Day

Still sleepy, and I have to stay in school the whole day today. 10:30am-7:30pm! Goodness. And I've only had like, 4 hours of sleep. Hmm. Maybe after this post I'll catch a 30-minute nap. I can't do proper research with my head like this: numb and refusing to function.

I wish I'd have a full hour of inspiration. You know, one where it'd just hit me and I'd finish a ton of work in that span of time. 'Coz right now it's just...blah. I wanna finish everything, but it's like nothing's coming out...

So anyway, I promised myself yesterday that I'm gonna be miserable only until last night. (The last couple of posts would give you a hint of what I'm talking about) From today on, I'm not gonna care about that anymore. It's just... too much. It's too much to handle right now, especially with all the panic of finishing the thesis and racing to pull up my grades before the semester ends, which only has a month and two weeks left in it. I'm excited as well as terrified right now, the former because it's gonna be sembreak soon, the latter because the defense date is coming fast. So I don't think I can take any more agony. I might have a nervous breakdown. If it happens, it happens. I don't care anymore. Bahala na. Bahala na rin siya. I'm just gonna get on up and try to be a good student and get my grades up and enjoy the last days of my college life.

I'm still sick of being single but what am I gonna do? Maybe I'm just destined to be alone forever. Maybe I'm just repulsive, I don't know. Some ask me why being single bothers me so much. They tell me there's no need to hurry because I'm still young, etc. Some, who are also single, ask me the same thing. They can't understand me because they're single like me, no boyfriend since birth too, but it doesn't really bother them.

Well, it's not that I'm desperate or that I have some sort of deadline to meet. It's just that after falling in-like with someone and not have those feelings reciprocated hurts. To have that happen to me three times in the span of 8 years simply tells me that there is something innately unlikeable about me. Or maybe I'm just placed into this world to be everybody's friend and nothing more. And it also doesn't help that I've got friends (really close friends, more like sisters really, whom I love to bits) who, when they get a crush on someone, eventually that someone will like them back. That happens to them all the time. So combine all of those reasons and you'd get what I feel. But the most painful thing of all is hoping. Because at some point, when you like someone so much, you begin to hope that the feeling is mutual. You'd wish it were. I mean, it could be, right? It happens to other people (i.e. my friends) so it's actually possible in this world to have one person return another person's feelings. And then it doesn't happen. So the only conclusion I could derive from my experience is that there is something seriously wrong with me, that's why I'm 21 and single since birth.

However, a line from Lifehouse's Whatever It Takes goes like this:

You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me

I do love myself. That's what I think anyway. Maybe I should love myself more.

F this whole thing. I'm sick of it. I'm beginning to think falling in love is overrated. F it all, I'm going back to bed. Screw the meeting.

Lintik!!!

OH GOOD LORD!!

I just found out that I will be stuck in this job for 9 more days! The barista intern here asked how many hours am I rewuired to complete. I said 120. Then she counted the hours in my time card. She said that if I finished this day, then I would be 8 hours over. I know right. And the 9 hours I spend here each day only counts as 8, even if I don't use my 1 hour break, which sucks. I wanna go on a break today, but again I don't have money. Besides, the internet connection here is really fast so I'm taking advantage of it and downloading everything. I only have this laptop this week. The 8 days I have to come back here after this week would be spent with the office laptop which is anciet; I think it's the ancestor of every other laptop.

So okay, it's 10 AM already. 8 more hours to go. Wow. That hour went by pretty quickly. I've just finished the new press release. It's so short, only 3/4 of page and it's already Arial 12 and double spaced! I have nothing else to say about the Barista for a Day program. That's it. Take it or leave it.

Hay. Right now I'm really pissed. Pissed off and bummed. I was really looking forward to being free within next week but no. I still have two more weeks, EXACTLY two more weeks to go! Argh! I'm going to go crazy here! In this hell hole!!!

I'm sorry for ranting, but this is just a seriously boring job. Yeah I know it's very relaxed and all, but I'm supposed to be learning something! And I don't feel like I am! I mean, I have learned a few things, but I don't know, I guess I just had it all worked out in my head how my OJT would be like. I even designed my own business card.

Man. I so need something to get my mind off of this shit later. Luckily it's Wednesday so there's AI later. I'm gonna hear David Cook's wonderful voice again. Yey!

Ok, that made me feel a tad better, but still I'm pissed. Fuck this shit talaga! I wanna get outta here. Shit!

>.<

I tried squeezing my eyes tightly and concentrating, hoping that I somehow possess Hiro's powers.

It turned out that this tremendous feat only brought out the fart master in me.

Kidding, guys.

It's only the second day of the year and I'm already feeling depressed. Why? Well, one thing is that I didn't complete my new year's eve blogathon. Another thing is that I haven't studied a thing since vacation started, and now I only have 5 days to complete all of the assignments: stuff for events management, prepare for 2 long tests for next week, read really really long readings, and rewrite my notes.

Oh, and yeah, my cousin was shot by some random asshole while he was chatting with his sister outside their house the other day and right now he's at the brink of death.

What kind of sick, twisted world do we live in???

Everything was fine a couple of days ago. I was actually having a happy Christmas. Well, except for two instances when my mom annoyed the hell outta me but I can just be a bitch sometimes so we just forget about it the next day.

We were fine. We were happy. I greeted some people a happy new year too. And then that terrible news came and I just can't help but stop. Just stop. I want everything to stop for a second and just let me digest this situation. How can a wonderful holiday turn into a freakish nightmare, just like that?

I'm not really close with my cousin who got shot. I barely even see him. I only saw him again (after what, eight, nine years?) Christmas morning. He was here and he was smiling and it was great seeing all of them. And then just like that...

Now I'm facing my impending return to the hellhole I call school. I don't know why. I loved school in my sophomore year. I mean, not totally loved it (there were definitely a lot of sucky moments), but this school year is just HORRIBLE. I swear. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere in any subject. Well, I guess it's just theology that I hate. It's not the subject, really. It's more of the teacher.

I mean, he is a pretty cool teacher by normal standards, but seriously, his teaching style sucks. I can't understand what he's trying to say. Even the people sitting right in front of him can't understand what he's saying. I'm actually missing our previous theo prof (who we thought was sent up from the deep south). At least we knew what to answer to pass his course. But this... My prof now makes me dread every MWF. I sit there every session staring at him and concentrating really hard, with everything I've got, just to get the gist of what he's saying. But he keeps on jumping from one point to the other without really explaining each very well. So what I get is just this whole mess of stuff in my notebook that I can't make sense of.

Bah, I don't wanna think about it anymore. Basta, I'm going to look for 150-pesos shoes and clean up my notes and read everything I'm supposed to read. I can't give up now; life will continue to suck anyway.

July is Harry Potter Month! 2007 is Harry Potter Year!

It's about time you hear something about Harry Potter from me. The fifth movie, Order of the Phoenix, is only three weeks away and the last book, the Deathly Hallows, is only a month away. July is Harry Potter month. I am so glad that I was born in July. Really, this is the first time I'm this grateful for being a July baby and a Leo. I have finally found a meaning of my life. Harry Potter was also born in July! Only 3 days after my day!

Okay, I did sound moronic there. But whatever. I am excited and no one can stop me from losing my mind.

What makes me sad and bitter is that my brother gets to go to London this July and I can't go with him because I've got school. I'm really happy for him because he gets to properly graduate at last. The ceremony is going to be held in Scotland so he has to travel miles. Isn't that cool or what? An excuse to go travel! He gets to spend about a little over a week there. He'd be there in time for the movie release. I told him to pay attention if he passes big crowds. J.K. Rowling might be there! Or one of the Potter stars. I admire them too. But I really really want to have one of my HP books signed by Mrs. Rowling. I'd die happy after that. He might still be there in time for the book release. I'm not sure though. He's going to go to Hong Kong too. But if I were him, I'd spend all my time in the UK. I mean, how many times has he gone to HK anyway? About 4 or 5! And a lot more times in the future! Now, a UK trip is just a once in a lifetime thing. I really want to go now that I have a really important reason to go. I mean, Harry Potter is ending. And I'm a fan of the book, although seeing a movie's premier is also on my list. I don't want to beg my dad to let me go now because one thing, there's school and late July is midterm week. Also, it's too expensive. My brother's trip alone costs an arm and a leg. Dad can't afford both of us right now when he's still recovering from paying my tuition for the first semester. So he promised me that when I graduate, we will definitely go to London. But I'll be graduating on 2009. I don't think there's gonna be any Harry Potter event then, unless the 7th movie is that easy to make. No. I think the 7th movie will be released on 2010. So I am definitely going to hold off the trip until then. I'd be 23. Oh God.

I can't believe I'm thinking this, but this is the first time I wished I were older. Okay, when I was a pre-teen I wished I were older. When I hit 17, I stopped celebrating my birthday. Kidding. Now I wish I were 2 years older so that I won't have classes now and I'd be working already so i'd have the money and time to go to London. Argh.

Right now. the only thing I'm really thankful for is my not having Saturday classes. I can go to the book release and party! Unless a professor schedules an exam or a field trip of some sort on that day. I would really really be pissed. Really. I'd even cry, if I can't get out of it without flunking the subject.

So anyway, enough of this ranting. I found a couple of Harry Potter stuff over at Mugglenet.com. One is a 3D of 12 Grimmauld Place, the ancestral home of Sirius Black. It only shows the dining area but it's really awesome. Check it out here.

This other thing is an article of the speculation of Harry's fate in book 7. Will he die or not? I found this tip to parents very amusing. It's a tip for them on how to help their children cope if Harry dies. At first I was like, what the hell? Then I remembered how I felt when Sirius and Dumbledore died. I better print that out and give it to my parents. And warn them to hide any rope or sharp objects too. Check it out here.

Okay, that's all for now. I'd be back probably after seeing the 5th movie. Lol! :)

So... It's April. The tragedy begins.

Yeah, it took me another month to muster up the energy to post again. That's how lazy I am. Well, it's summer, it's hot,and I've only got another week of pure vacation time, so I'm using that as an excuse.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the past month.

First thing, I survived the final hell week and the finals week. There were a couple casualties though, and one of them was very very dear to me.

Let's see...

So after that weird semi-poetic (would you call it that? nah. but it's my blog so...yeah.) post I did, I went on for two more weeks of sheer torture and great relief to stressful moments. First, we finished up our ad interviews and the plans for the finals. We made the atmospherics and everything. I still got paint on my butt. The presentation was good, we got a 90! AND!!! We got second place so we're gonna be on the next issue of ADOBO magazine! Yey!

What else...

S.A. was nightmarish because we didn't have enough stuff to fill the 15 pages minimum. We kinda winged it at the last day, around 3 hours before the deadline. Adrenaline sure does bring out the best in us. Or the sloppiest. Whatever.

Bea and I finished Spanish. The fiesta was better than I expected. We had a blockmate who sang and sounded so marvelous; I was stunned. I knew he could sing but I can't believe he could sing that well!

So the first casualty faded away right after our Spanish exam. It was my last finals, and I was in the mood for a mini celebration (because the S.A. paper was still unfinished) after I handed in my test paper to Señor Prado. But when I searched my bad for my cellphone... poof! It's gone. Again. FOR THE THIRD DANG TIME! Seriously, I felt so shi**y I wanted to kill people. But I had to move on. It's vacation.

So now I'm living off Sun Cellular. Never thought I'd appreciate it this much.

So there, a couple more days in school for some document signing and emergency reason-generating (WHY do I want to minor in Lit? Er... Hang on... *invents something up*) and total bum-days start! Saturday afternoon, Sunday and Monday were filled with nothing but sleep, food, TV (while my remote control still existed) and even more sleep. 'Twas fun.

Until the next day.

I was up Monday night doing nothing. Or was I watching movies? Whatever. All I remember was that I was chatting on YM with a friend until the wee hours of the morning. So as expected, I was on shut down mode until around noon.

I was awoken by I don't know what. I closed my eyes again. It's only like, 10Am. Too early to get up. My mom burst through my door, and I was prepared to feign sleep. Then she blurted out, "Namatay na si Dinggo kaninang madaling araw." (Translation: Dinggo (my dog) died at dawn.)

I was like, what the hell? Am I still dreaming? Then I remembered that he was sent to the vet because he'd been throwing up blood yesterday morning. Poor little baby. It was shocking. I was shocked. I was motionless for about an hour just digesting that information. I knew he was sick, but we kept on sending him back to the vet 'cause he has this hacking cough but the vet kept on saying that there was nothing wrong with him. Stupid idiot.

So I charged toward the vet, ready to yell at him 'til he dies. But I couldn't do it. It isn't in my nature to confront people. Well, I really planned on doing it. But there was someone else in the room, and it was his house (I mean, his house is beside the clinic so his family is there) so I really didn't want to make a fool of myself. And my mom warned me that I might get arrested. So. I shut up.

And seeing my dear doggie's carcass stiff, with his leg protruding from that sack - yes, a sack! Damn that vet to hell! - just shut me up. I don't cry in public, I really don't. I didn't even cry on my grandparents' funeral. But that time, I really felt the tears welling up. I stopped them before they spilled over.

If only it wasn't a crime, I would've stuck that loser of a vet into that sack and kicked him 'til he drowned in his own pool of blood.

So there. Tragic weeks.

Well, it was the Holy Week. The last four days of the week was pretty fun and relaxing and oh so full of shrimp. I don't think they knew any other seafood. Shrimp shrimp and more shrimp. Different kinds of shrimp dishes. Bubba from Forrest Gump would've been proud of us.

As the last dregs of my vacation gets siphoned off to the sunset (or sunrise, whatever), well, okay. I don't know what to say. Ha ha. I just want to do major bumming around. It's my last summer vacation! Next year, I'd have to work. The year after that, I'd have to look for a real job! Sigh. This is the last one.

I don't wanna grow up yet!!!!!!!!!!!

Except maybe to marry Randy Orton. Did I mention that he's so awfully HOT??? Yeah... He was in my dreams last night... Don't worry, it's PG-13.

OMG...

Naiwan ko ang hard disk ko sa library. I'm on panic mode. Kung mawala ko yun, my brother would never let me live it down (kahit mapalitan ko pa yun) at hindi ko na mapapalitan ang mga nawalang pictures.

Pero think positive lang. Think positive. Nasa lost and found yan. Sure yan. Kung hindi maglalaslas na ako...

ARGH!!!!! For the love of all things techie!

Okay, I planned to be asleep by 2Am which was an hour and fifteen minutes ago. At around 1:30, as I was joyfully breezing through Issue #8 of Superman & Batman comics, there were several disturbances. One was the noticeably slow speed of the computer. When I tried to go to the next page, the computer would seize up for a few seconds. I thought it was because I was transferring files to another disk.

But then windows of Internet Explorer started popping up. That's when I knew there was trouble.

I then saw at the bottom right corner, a toolbar? Whatever that's called, there was a big red X mark. I right-clicked it and it said that my computer was infected. Great. There was this BraveSentry anti-virus software working on it so I wasn't that panicked. But when I clicked the button to remove the infected files, it asked me to buy a license.

Great. At the time of crisis, all it does is ask you to buy a license.

So I found this AVG thing which is also some sort of anti-virus. It worked well. I managed to delete the infected files. But my desktop background remained white. I clicked on its properties and tried to change it back to the Christmas tree but it wouldn't budge! I tried several times, even refreshed it several times but it stayed the same. So I thought I'd just reboot it and it would all go back to normal.

I learned that I was wrong.

I restarted the computer and it did spring back to life, only to restart again when it got to the point where the desktop can be seen already. So it just kept on restarting and restarting and restarting...

Goodness.

Why did they even invent computer viruses?! It's bad enough to have them in the atmosphere or wherever in the physical world. Why let them invade cyber space?!

I so wish we have a superhero for that.

Thank goodness for Google and Gmail or else I would lose all the pictures I have in Drive C.

Title Change

for Joyce.

Two down (okay, one and a half), a million more to go.

These readings just don't end.

And I have four days to finish them.

At least one line in them was true. I already know this stuff. Why give it a fancy name?

Because I don't know everything.

Yeah, I don't. But I don't want to. I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!

I just want to have a merry little Christmas.

And yet I'd be stuck in an internet-free zone for a week finishing up two major papers and a book, and maybe a truck-load more readings.

Whoopdi-doo.

W.O.M.B.A.T.

Argh!!! I so hate myself!

I took teh W.O.M.B.A.T. test at J.K.Rowling.com (if you're a Potterhead, you'd know what I'm talking about). The results tool so long to be released. I think I took it five months ago or something. Now, I can't access my results because I lost my damn ID code! Argh! Where did I write it down? Did I just scribble it in a scrap of paper or a notebook or maybe saved it as a word document? I so wanna see my results! I'm racking my brain for the place I put that ID code...

WHERE IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Somewhere between Sensorimotor and Pre-operational

Hay. I just got home from school about an hour ago...and I'm undeniably beat. Haven't slept yet, so I'm now working on mere sugar rushes...(ice cream! ice cream!)

We just saw a fantastic play (which I'll try to process later. right now, all I can say is, Mr. de Guzman rocks!!!!!).

But...this is one of the times that I wonder about my existence (naks, okay, I'm in identity vs. identity confusion of Erikson). Well, I...most of the time, I feel like I'm the stupidest person in thte world. I think that I'm incapable of higher cognitive abilities. I feel that I'm stuck in this stage forever, that I'd forever talk about trivial stuff and be satisfied with that. I mean, yeah, I like talking about whatever. I'm really talkative. But I don't think I have substance, you know? I think that people perceive me as some kind of an airhead who just talks a lot.

First of all, I have no interest in politics whatsoever, except if there's some kind of scandal (oooh, I just realized, natatamaan ako ng play!!! argh!), like Erap's impeachment. That makes me tune in to the news (yes, I am entertaining myself to stupidity...). It's like I'm caught up in this huge meme and I don't want to escape.

I AM DOOMED TO BE AN IDIOT FOREVER.

For example, this weblog. It should be deleted. Seriously. Whoever reads a post will drop 10 IQ points. It's harmful.

But no, I love this thing.

Should I delete this for the betterment of the public or keep it and die an imbecile?

Sabi nga ni anonymous teacher, "We can't be heartless geniuses, nor can we be loving imbeciles."

I think I'm the latter. I don't know.

What constitutes a substantial person? My idea is that a substantial person should be smart, opinionated, has general knowledge of everything under the sun, at the same time is compassionate towards others and is an over-all nice guy/girl.

I am so NOT like that. The freaking strength test even said that I don't have wisdom. I don't even know why people actually can bear to talk to me for extended periods. Don't they get dumber because of me?

Sometimes I think that I'm smarter than I let on, but most of the time, comparing myself to other people, I feel so dumb. I don't like movies or books that require me to think. I believe that books and movies are there to entertain me, and thinking is restricted to schoolwork. Maybe that's why. I think my brain is rotting in its own juices. But should I force myself to do something I don't want? Like read a philosophical book, for example? Or like, claim that I loves movies like...Proof or A Beautiful Mind (which I have seen a bit of a million times but I just switch the channel)?

That's just pretend.

Most guys say that their ideal girl should be "smart". So I've found another piece that solves the puzzle of my pending singlehood. And yeah, the extra extra extra weight.

Now off to Chapter 18! Hoorah!

Feeling Shitty

Wow, another month had passed. Well, almost.

Sigh.

It's almost 3 AM and I'm still awake. I have to get to school at around 6:30 AM tomorrow. What the hell am I doing up?

One thing, I'm finishing the freaking story I was plugging in the previous post. Yeah, I thought a week should do it, but it's almost a month and I haven't finished yet. It's looking like it'll extend until 20 chapters. Great.

I can't really be vivid here because blog hunters prawl in the shadows. They might see this, and identify me as me, so I can't really diss any real people here. All I wanna say is, well, related to the title. This afternoon, in school, I was doodling, and suddenly I got called for recitation. I had no idea what I was going to say. I tell you, the person standing in front wasn't someone you'd gladly have tea with, if you know what I mean. So yeah, I hope I didn't get on that person's bad side, or else I might me looking into summer school as early as this month. I'm kinda scared, so I'm feeling shitty. It's my fault I let my head float in the clouds, knowing that someone's bound to be watching me. I'll keep my nose clean this time and pay attention and never be late again (except maybe on tuesdays and thursdays).

On a happier note, Lee Dong Wook, my love, is here in my home country. I am ecstatic! I'm planning on finding out where he's staying and stalk him until he leaves, but, that's Julianne's work (if you haven't read the story I plugged, you wouldn't know what I'm talking about so go click it now!). I need a Kash to be with me, and hopefully get that snowy moonlight kiss, too. But we don't have snow here so...so much for that.

I've got a new phone, nothing fancy, but it has a camera so I'm uber happy with it. Finally, after a year and a half of being left behind in techies, I'm finally back in the game. That mobile phone photo contest just sounded a bit more interesting now that I have the cam phone.

Anyhoo, toodleoo to all of you. I need to shut my eyes now 'coz my head is starting to throb. Hoorah for the newly-fixed internet connection.

'Til next!

Snotty People

I just hate it when people, “intellectual” people, look down upon people who admire movie stars, “celebrities”. I was watching the program The Scholar, and each of the contestants were asked a series of questions. One of those was, “Which well-known person would you want to have dinner with” or something like that, I didn’t quite catch the question. All the contestants chose someone who’s involved in politics or is a historical figure or something. And this one girl answered, “Angelina Jolie”. One of the three judges, while they discussed the answers, commented, “I could’ve jumped off a building at the first answer.”

I mean, what’s wrong with that? Angelina Jolie is a great role model. She’s a great woman. Yes, she is a celebrity, and she uses her status to her advantage, that is, to influence people to do good. She’s famous, beautiful, charismatic and (we can’t deny) rich. She adopts orphans from poor countries and raises them as her own. They may be of a different race to her, but she doesn’t care. She goes to Africa to do charity, and I mean really do it, not just donate huge chunks of money and sit back and see where that goes. She chose Namibia, a not-so-well-known African country as her hiding place for her pregnancy, rather than sailing off to some high class place like France or Italy. She and Brad are spokespersons for charities, and they’re not only faces.

I think that Angelina did more in trying to make the world better than those three judges just sitting there being “intellectual”. Yes, their jobs are important too, but why do that particular judge have to judge Angelina right away as an unworthy choice for a role model just because she’s a celebrity? Angelina is a humanitarian, and she is serious about it. She helps people with her heart, not just to make her image better. I believe that a person needs not to memorize the Constitution or have an over-the-top IQ to be a good role model. A person just needs to have the purest intentions in his/her heart to make the world a better place, and they are more than good enough to be looked up to by everyone.

C.U.R.S.E.D.

I am CURSED. With cellphones, I mean.

Five days ago, I lost my cellphone. That's the second one I lost. A little over a year ago, my phone was stolen. It was a Nokia 7650. I loved it so much because of the camera of course, and the recorder and the log... everything! I loved it. And then POOF! It's gone.

After a year, I got a new phone as a present from my godfather. Nothing fancy, but it's adorable. I know I posted something about it here... If I didn't, then nevermind 'coz I'm gonna talk about it anyway. It's a Nokia 6030. It's black, and has a radio! I love it. And it kinda looks like an Ericsson so it's cool.

March 31, 2006 --> My friends and I went out to celebrate a graduation. Afterwards, we went to Greenhills Promenade to sing our toncills out at the KTV. It was loads of fun. We played at Timezone before that. It's been forever since we last did that. It's like being a kid again (which I still am, you know, just a bit older). It's like the perfect night out. And then when I finally reached into my bag to call the driver (I had to go home, it was 11:30 pm already), it's not there. My Globe phone. I was using my Sun phone all the time because of the unlimited text thing. But my Globe phone is gone. I thought I just dropped it, so we searched the whole KTV room. It's not there.

We went back to Timezone.
It's not there.

We searched my car and my friend's car (we rode them going to the restaurant and back).
Not there either.

The restaurant was closed already so the next day, my friend called. They said it wasn't there. I kept on calling my phone all night, and it kept on ringing and ringing and ringing...

When my other phone got stolen, we called it a few times and after a while, it was turned off already so we couldn't get through. But this time, until the next day at around 3pm, I was still calling my phone, and it still kept on ringing.

My Harry Potter tune...

This second loss stuck to me and bummed me more because first of all, the phone is only 3 months old. Ok, technically I didn't spend on it because it was given to me, but still, I love it. The messages in there cannot be recieved again... I mean, the time it was sent and recieved cannot be brought back. The other irritating thing is that I have to ask everyone for their numbers again. It's okay actually, but there are numbers there, people that I only have contact with through SMS, and I might not find them again.

From now on, I'm gonna look for a big ol' chain and stick my phones around my neck.

Ho-hum

I've just noticed.

As I skimmed through my blog, checking if there's any new comment (f.y.i., there's none-nobody's reading this at all), I noticed that my first archived month was February 2005. A year later, here I am, still blogging. In a couple of weeks, it'll be this blog's first birthday! Yey!

I ponder upon the meanings of a first birthday. Well, obviously it means that this blog has been around for a year (and I hope it'll have more birthdays to come!). But that's not all. Looking back on previous posts, it's like nothing has changed, at the same time, a lot did change. For one, there's a new pope since I first posted! And I've graduated from high school already. I'm a year older (a year wiser...? Nah...) and I've got straight hair now (although the new growth is showing already and the fuzz is back!). Less pictures on posts. I use English (but at times when I'm braindead I use Filipino). The layout is different from when I first posted. I'm more at home with school already. My hair is longer, and there are more animals in my house now. I think I was funnier back then, a more interesting read. Hmm. I should be funnier.

*makes crazy eyes*

Is that better?

The things that are still the same are... I still hate school, though for slightly different reasons. Now it's Physics that I loathe. I'm still asleep all the time (alarm clocks are sort of useless for me). I'm still LAZY as HELL. I still use this blog for procrastination purposes (I'm supposed to be doing my research paper right now). I'm still fat and ugly (but ten pounds lighter!). I still miss my friends. I still HATE Valentines Day, because I still have no "someone special" to give me a humongous teddy bear on V-day. I'm still in love (?) with someone and he still doesn't know it.

I'M STILL HERE, AREN'T I???

And maybe this blog isn't as cool or interesting or funny or pretty as other blogs out there, but as long as I have it, and it's a documentation of how I spent my earlier days so I can look back on it and laugh my ass off someday, then it's still worth keeping and I'm proud of it.

Maybe someday, a thousand archive months from now, the posts would be better, or the graphics, or the layout, because I might be a professional photographer or a journalist or an Ad girl at that time already. And I want to reread all these crazy, stupid, hysterical, embarrassing, weird nonesense that I wrote and remember how I got to where I am tha time.

Now, on a lighter note:

I'VE GOT A NEW PUPPY!

Her name is SNOOP, although I call her puppy and my brother calls her Big Dawg (he likes generic names). She slept on my bed last night, and I was afraid to move all night for fear of squashing her. She's half labrador and half spitz (I think) and she's the most adorable puppy in the world! When Dinggers saw her, he crashed our screen door and charged towards her! I picked her up and ran to the saftey of the kitchen. I got her yesterday.

Videos of her later! :)

Gimme A Break!

I'm sorry, but this is just a heated rambling.

It's half past midnight, and I'm really sleepy, but I just have to get this off my chest.

I'm normally a cheery person, always cracking jokes, and hearty laughter issues from me often. I like being with people, as long as they're crazy like me and can handle practical jokes and jibes and stuff. I just spent the whole day with friends, and that's pretty long for me because I'm a bit of a loner. I highly value "alone time". I like having people around me to talk to, but I also love it when I'm left alone with my thoughts. Like right now, I mean, for goodness' sake, it's midnight! It's the time of day when everything's quiet, and I just love basking in the quiet, watching a good movie in really low volume or reading a good book or writing something. It's okay for me if someone goes into my room and ask me something, or chat for a while, it's really okay. But please take notice if I turn and close my eyes already, pretending to be asleep. It means that it's time to GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM! Fine, when that person comes back and sees me at my computer again, fine, I'm here again, but that's not an invitation to sit and hang around and blabber away. There's 24 hours tomorrow. Half of that time I'm available for endless chatter, but please, leave me my peace. I want this quiet time, reflecting or just plain thinking, letting my mind wander. It relaxes me. And if, after seeing me again turn and pretend to go to sleep, please, leave and never come back. Get a hint! It means that I don't want you here anymore! I'm freaking irritated! Isn't it obvious?! I'm PRETENDING to be asleep TWICE when I abviously have no intention to sleep yet, I mean, you saw me at the PC! Isn't it obvious that I was just doing that to make you leave?! Gawd.

Some people are so thick sometimes.

Argh!

Hay, it’s Sunday and we were supposed to go eat out today, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. I hate myself. It was so nice to hear the war ceased, and everybody was in high spirits today. I guess except me.

My dad came into my room and he was all smiling and happy and he asked me if I wanted to eat out tonight and what movies are showing because he wanted to watch a movie. I mean, I never heard my dad want to go out at night and watch a movie. The couple times we did, I think it was just because we wanted to and he was driving so he went along.

Why did I have to be so lazy not to go? When I heard that my mom also felt like staying home, I said I would too. My brother was excited of the prospect of going out and having his one meal (he’s fasting). But I didn’t go with them. I was feeling trashed awhile ago. I feel tired still, and my stomach won’t behave. It rumbles every minute. These past few days, my stomach’s not been very good.

I wish I felt well tonight. I wish we were all out tonight and having fun. I wish I’d gone with my dad and saw a movie. His life was hell for two days and it’s wonderful to see him smile and look forward to something and even want to go out, and then this is the time I feel sick. I hate myself!

Sleep All Day

I slept all day today. Well, not really all day, but most of it.

I slept around 2 am, and woke up around 9 am 'coz I had to go... nature calls. :) And then I got to my computer for a few minutes, and went back to sleep again.

At 2pm, someone woke me up and told me to go have lunch. I ate a hotdog, then went back to sleep again. As of an hour ago, 5pm, I'm "officialy" awake. I wouldn't have, but my mom barged in my room and decided to sleep beside me. I can't sleep when there's some other person on my bed. And she started chattering about whatever. Chatter chatter chatter.

So I decided to wake up.

And then my dad came in and started talking with my mom. Fact: My mom talks REALLY LOUD. As in when she calls me up in the intercom from downstairs, I just have to open my door and I'd hear her loud and clear. No intercom needed.

So there. I decided to wake up. And then mom and dad went on talking, complaining about my room, that it's so dirty, etc. He even wanted my bean bag out of my room! ARGH! I mean, dude, this is my room not yours! I spend all of my time here and I'm fine with it, so why do you have to have the say which goes in and out of it?!

This is so annoying. I am so annoyed and irritated right now.

Maybe because i have to go back to that sh*thole of a hospital later. I mean, don't get me wrong. I really want my grandma to get well you know. I always pray for her. I want her to go home already because it's really boring in the hospital and there's NO TV!

But there's just something wrong with that place. I don't know what, but there's just something.

I can feel it.

And right now, my mom, still hogging the left half of my bed, is talking with someone on the phone. Really loud. As if the person she's talking to is in another continent.

And my dad is in front of my mirror/vanity closet. Whatever it's called. And he's waiting...waiting...waiting like a ghost in Halloween. Ok, that's lame, but whatever. He's waiting for me to get ready. To go to the hospital.

Please, save me from this life!

Despicable!!!

My Yahoo Messenger status message right now:
Sinusumpa ko na ang fil hanggang mag Second Coming

Translation:
I'm cursing Fil until the Second Coming

Today was the earliest exam time I had all week--> 7:30 am. I woke up early to brush up on some notes on fil which didn't really help. I got to school 10 minutes before the exam. I was happy. I rushed to K201 where they said the exam would take place. At the bottom of the stairway to K201, I met three of my blockmates. They were running; they looked harassed. I smiled and said hi. They asked me if I brought my fil book.

No, I didn't.

We need it.

Sh*t. C'mon let's go look for a photocopy machine.

Every photocopy station is still closed.

Lib.

Still closed. it opens at exactly 7:30.

We'll be late.

Better late than no copy of the story and flunk the test.

Ok, lib.

-run run run-

We met another two of our blockmates by the lib. They brought their books. Dang. The freakin' beadle (teacher assistant?) didn't tell all of us what were supposed to bring. My internet connection's broken down yesterday (that's why no new post!) so I didn't get to check my mail or see the Yahoo group. Lisa said there wasn't anything posted on the group. Dang. It's not our fault we didn't know we're supposed to bring the book. But as usual, this is college, everything is our fault now. If we get hit by a car because the driver is freakin' blind and drunk, it'll still be our fault.

So we waited right in front of the lib's doors, and barged right in when the guard flipped the sign from CLOSED to OPEN. We checked the ground floor. No one's at the photocopying center.

Upstairs!

Unluckily, I was wearing a pair of really loose pants. So I had to hold my pants up while running or it'll really fall off. So we got to the machine and had a million copies printed because a million of our blockmates didn't get the message that we're supposed to bring the freakin' book. That's not our fault. If it's only me, then, yeah, but there were a million of us so that meant that the friggin' beadle didn't do his job well.

Off we went to the exam building. It was a long run. I can't run fast. I can't run long distances. I tire easy. I mean, with the extra hundred pounds on me, how can I run as fast as the people with me who are half my weight? Nope, not my fault. This is because of the genes I inherited from my ancestors. Both my mom's and dad's families are well, big, so it's their fault.

With pants held high above my waist, I ran as fast as I could to the exam room.

So I got the exam booklet and the questionairre and the copy of the story. It was a dang long story. I spent an hour reading it. Wer've exhausted 15 minutes of the exam time with the photocopying, (not our fault we didn't know we're supposed to bring the book) so I had 45 minutes left to make an outline worth 20 pts and psychoanalyse the characters in the story and plan my essay carefully because neatness is worth 10 pts and of course, content worth 20 pts. A couple of paragraphs into the essay, the prof announces, "25 minutes left!"Just imagine how panicked I got. My outline still looked like sh*t, and my brain is so scattered I can't pull my thoughts together.

Time's up! Pass your papers.

I'm not done yet!

I'll just be upstairs. When your done, go up and give me your papers.

So again, with pants held high, we ran upstairs. I looked like a marathon runner on a relay race. I was running, clutching my pants, with my arm outstretched and calling after my prof.

This is the stupidest most despicable day in my whole life as a college student.

All because of fil.