Argh!

Hay, it’s Sunday and we were supposed to go eat out today, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. I hate myself. It was so nice to hear the war ceased, and everybody was in high spirits today. I guess except me.

My dad came into my room and he was all smiling and happy and he asked me if I wanted to eat out tonight and what movies are showing because he wanted to watch a movie. I mean, I never heard my dad want to go out at night and watch a movie. The couple times we did, I think it was just because we wanted to and he was driving so he went along.

Why did I have to be so lazy not to go? When I heard that my mom also felt like staying home, I said I would too. My brother was excited of the prospect of going out and having his one meal (he’s fasting). But I didn’t go with them. I was feeling trashed awhile ago. I feel tired still, and my stomach won’t behave. It rumbles every minute. These past few days, my stomach’s not been very good.

I wish I felt well tonight. I wish we were all out tonight and having fun. I wish I’d gone with my dad and saw a movie. His life was hell for two days and it’s wonderful to see him smile and look forward to something and even want to go out, and then this is the time I feel sick. I hate myself!