Last Three Weeks

I've been feeling like I'm drowning in schoolwork since last week. Well, I'm actually one of the fortunate ones who felt that way only last week. There are people who have been struggling to stay afloat since the sem began. Heck, since the year began because of thesis. Ugh.

Anyway, I've written a 30-something-item task list last week. I've officially ticked off about 12 boxes so yey for me. The only problem is that for every box I check, two more get added. Argh. It's a bottomless task list.

Okay, not really, since there are only three weeks left in the seniors' school year. Each of the days in those three weeks are jam-packed with requirements though so it feels more like years rather than weeks. I want all the requirements to end. I just want to get things over with. But at the same time, while I was having one of my precious "staring blankly at empty space" breaks, I realized that this time, when the schoolwork ends... It really is the end of it. I mean, further education is more of a luxury than a necessity still, just a little bit, so unless I do that right away, the end of Feb is really the end of schoolwork for me.

It scares me. It really scares me. After this, I actually have to do something with my life. I actually have to do something. I was envisioning a summer-long bumming around period but the fact that I applied for an internship position that I'm perfect for and had the right credentials for and haven't received a reply until now (sent the email 3 weeks ago) just made me uneasy. I mean, I know I am the person for that job. And it's an unpaid internship. It's not like I'm doing it for the money. The only thing they'll be spending on me is space and a little time and effort. Not getting accepted to a job I'm sure I can do made me think about what would happen if I apply for something I'm not that confident about?

I'm really effing annoyed. Really. Really really really. Maybe I should snail mail my application too in case the contact person doesn't really check her inbox. Or maybe my application got sent to junk mail. Seriously. This is the second time I applied for an internship in that company. I don't know if I'm just such a loser or if getting in there requires some inside connection because the ones I knew who got an internship position there knew someone from inside.

I'll call them in March.

I have to get back to Kant now.