Remember His Life, Remember His Death.

Everybody hates Chris Benoit now.

Here are news from Google and WWE.com.

My brain tells me that I should be hating on him too, because what he did is truly horrible. If he did it at all. I still would like to believe that someone else did it and made it look like he did it. But slowly, I'm trying to accept the fact that one of the greatest wrestlers in the business, one who was described to be a family man, a loving father, could do such a horrifying thing. But I still can't bring myself to really curse him to hell. All I'm hoping is that his family's souls rest in peace, and that may God have mercy on his soul.

I'm on a really long break between classes now so I checked out latest news about the investigation of his death. I also checked out MyLot for discussions about him. I did expect hating. I don't know why it still hurt to read people dissing him, saying that he did not deserve any honor.

I agree with them that he did not deserve any honor for what he did. Even if he was famous, that was still a criminal act. But for me, I'd like to remember him as the wrestler that I admired. I mean, it's too late to do anything now. He's dead. They're all dead. Only God can do anything now.

The hard part here is, as a fan, how will I remember his good days without seeming insensitive to his family? They're the victims. They deserve the honor. But I do honor them. I really am sorry for what happened. I am sorry that he did it. Am I supposed to be sorry for being a fan too? If anybody knew how to be a real fan, you'd know how it feels like to feel like a complete stranger is part of your life. Even just a tiny part. When I got the news that Chris died, I was shocked. I didn't expect to feel this bad about it because I didn't know him at all. He's just a wrestler on TV, right? But I did admire him. And I feel like a part of me died.

Someone else said that we should just forget about him. I wanna do this. Just forget it. Because I know that I can't hate him. I'll just pray for the family he's left, the family affected by this.