Sigh...

I don't know. I'm feeling gloomy today. Hay. I am happy that it's finally the weekend. I have a couple of days to recuperate from endless sleepless nights. Although there's still Philo orals and long test to go.

I'm also gonna have a small party with my friends. Belated celebration of my birthday. I miss them a lot and it's great that we're finally gonna see each other again.

So why do I feel so weird?

I don't know. It's one of those days, I guess. Hay. I don't know. I should be happy. Happy happy happy. I was happy awhile ago. Where did happiness go?

I've had the song Scars by Papa Roach all day in my head. I'm feeling kind of...just like that. Like mad and depressed. Whatever. Mad at myself. Mad at the world. Mad for feeling like this when I'm supposed to be ok.

"My weakness is that I care too much."

I guess right now the angst has gone and only a feeling of helplessness is left. Gentle hopelessness. And I want it to stop. I'd rather be angry. At least anger can be let out. But feeling like there's nothing I can do just eats me up.

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up

I wish I may
And I wish I with all my might
For the love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life

You'd think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time
To people that I know

Their wishes all come true
So I've got to believe
There's still someone out there who
Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star
It seems like someone else keeps getting what I'm wishing for
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are
I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
But I can't give my heart
One good reason why

Everywhere I look
It's lovers that I see
Seems like everyone's in love
With everyone but me

Why can't I be as lucky
As those other people are
Oh I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star


:(