Batista is Coming Back!

This is AWESOME!!!

The last time he was here, I had CWTS, I think. Basta it was a Saturday, and I had to rush to Gateway just to drown in the sea of people. I didn't have that Pizza Hut thing, or the arrive early thing. Whatever. Basta I didn't get to see him up close. I do have pictures of him in a cellphone though (have to get that out of there...but how?) But anyway, I was so far away from him that all 6'5 and 300lbs of him looked about the size of an ant.

Bummer, right? And I had to go into and pretend to look around some expensive stores like Lacoste just to get nearer. Argh. All that wait for almost nothing.

Anyway, JackTV says that he's coming back here this March! Yey! They have this promo (the video above) which if you win, you get WWE goodies and a chance to meet Batista in person! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

So okay, the question one has to answer is, "Why are you the ultimate WWE fan?"

Yes, I have drafted a wonderful answer to this question, which I will post once the contest ends. I know that nobody ever reads this blog, but I can't take the chance to expose my sincere albeit slightly pathetic-geeky answer to someone else who'd like to join. Seriously. I'm laughing my head off at one of the reasons that I stated. Makes me look like I don't have a life but oh well, it's true!

So there, I would just like to share that wonderful news. I hope I win. Come on. That answer was awesome. Lol. You can log on to JackTV.com.ph to enter the contest!

Valentine's 2009

This was by far the most eventful Valentine's Day ever.

So okay, I was supposed to wake up a little early to do some research for a paper but as usual, I failed to do so. Woke up just in time to take a shower and go to school to have myself measured for toga.

Afterward, I sat at my usual "hang out place" - the library steps. There was this guy at the bottom of the steps. He had a guitar. When I got there he was just sitting silently. So I picked a spot and jammed earphones into my ears. I was actually watching videos of David Cook's AI performances. Yes, he was and still is awesome (although I miss Bo!). But after a while, I looked up and saw another guy sitting silently beside the first guy, but he was facing him. I thought, what the hell is he staring at him for? Was this a Brokeback moment? But then I took my earphones off and heard the first guy strumming and singing along.

My own semi-private Valentine's concert. :)

That's why it took me a little longer to get to J at NBS. We then proceeded to Yellow Cab. Then N arrived. So we ordered one big ass pizza and a box of pasta. Too bad they didn't have bottomless drinks. And I thought that "cut for party" means that they'll cut the pizza according to our party's size, that is, a party of 5 (before B canceled on us). But it turned out that this party cut thing meant that they were gonna cut the pizza into tiny rectangles. Which was nice because it was a change. But also because of the tininess of the pieces that I failed to realize that I've already eaten a lot. It made me think that I was only eating little.

So K came moments later, and we all enjoyed the greasy and yummy food. Of course, as we are most probably the best undiscovered comedians/comic strip characters of our time, we cracked each other up. Lucky nobody choked 'coz I've no idea how to do the Heimlich Maneuver. Pics were taken as usual, as you can see. :)

I was so ready for dessert when I got home. But then a friend of mine popped up. Problems. We spent about an hour talking and another just sitting in silence as I try to start the paper due that evening. I love her a lot and I totally sympathize with her, but I just don't know what else to do but listen and pat her consolingly. This was my "right speech". Lol. Buddha would be proud. Just kidding.

She left, and I was left alone for about 30 blissful minutes. Then another friend came, the one I texted to come over quickly because I needed help consoling. I don't know why. I used to consider myself one of the best "shoulder-to-cry-ons". But now, I don't know. I felt awkward. It's like, I don't know how to do it anymore. Maybe I never did. But I'm glad she came to me. Maybe it's just because my house was nearest to hers. I better check up on her.

So there. Another friend came over. We were gonna go out that night. I'm single for the 21st consecutive year and I've been bombarded with schoolwork and deprived of sleep for the last three weeks. I deserved a night out. So we got to talking while waiting for our ride. We talked about the problem and what we're gonna watch that night. Then I had to entertain my cousins who dropped by. By 6:30, I was dressed up, made up, and ready to go.

We got to Greenbelt at around 7:30. First we dropped by Bayo for the discount card thingy, then proceeded to look for another friend at Timezone. Man, I've never been to Timezone in a long long time. I missed it so much. We played this basketball game for like, an hour. There's no ticket prize; we did it for the challenge. When you get to 30 pts. in the first stage, you go to the 2ns stage where you have to get to 150pts for the 3rd, 250pts to get to 4th, 350pts for the 5th, and then 450pts for the last. My back ached for two days because of that. I cramped and all.

The exercise famished us so we looked for a place to eat. Everywhere is full! Luckily there was National Sports Grill. Awesome. Their servings are ginormous but so are our appetites so that didn't matter. We ate, chatted, and laughed. Ah, my friends. I love them so much because they make me laugh. A lot.

While we were waiting for our change, this caucasian man approached one of my friends and whispered something, left a card, then left. We were all like, "Was that guy from a modelling agency?" My friend was tall and slender so it was quite possible. She was already approached to endorse MET. Lol. She has really fair skin. Well, it wasn't a modelling agent's card. There were Chinese characters on it. I was like, wait a minute, that guy was white. Then we thought that maybe he was based in Hong Kong or something. I didn't read the card very well. When we flipped it over, there was the english version, and a little scribbled note, "Hi. I think you're cute. Let's get together. Call me."

Man, we laughed our assess off! The guy was apparently a sales and marketing person. Says so in the card. My friend wanted to throw it away, but we told her no. Since most of us are newly grads or ar about to, we could really use another company to apply to. And that is just our field. Lol. We joked about sending our resumes with her picture attached so he'd know we're friends of hers and we could set them up. Lol. But she left the card with the tips.

Too bad. The guy was actually kinda cute.

So then we stopped by the restroom and freshened up. Since the movie wasn't for another hour, Timezone again! This time I got to play House of the Dead (after waiting for like, forever, for the previous couple to finish). I love that game. I wish I had that here at home.

We went to see Valkyrie. I wasn't expecting much since it was a Tom Cruise movie (no offense to Tom Cruise fans). It turned out to be quite good. It required absolute attention though but I didn't have a hard time giving that because it was really interesting. This is coming from me. one of the most superficial moviegoers. Make something explode and I'm happy. Lol. Okay, not really that shallow. As much as I love John Cena, and as much explosives were deployed in the movie, The Marine sucked. Anyway, I got home at around 2AM. What a day. Parang telenovela.

Oh, and the flowers are, as usual, from my dad. :)

Corner of Your Heart (Ingrid Michealson)

I've always wanted to do this. :) Samwyn (my iPod) is excited!

Grabbed from Mysh's Multiply Blog...

1. Put your iPod (or MP3 player, iTunes, etc.) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I Want Candy (Go Gos)

Hehe. Ano yan. Well, I love sweets naman. :)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The Music of the Night (Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack)

what does this mean?

Nighttime sharpens

heightens each sensation

darkness stirs

and peaks imagination

silently the senses abandon their defenses

This means I'm creative and irrational. Hahaha. Give in to the desires!!! O kaya uto-uto ako.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A BOY?
Spellbound (ACDC)

Spellbound, my world keeps a tumbling down

Hmm. Either this means that I want a wizard or like, prince charming. Lol. Sort of accurate. Ah fooey. I guess this means I want someone who'll sweeo me off my feet. :)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Somewhere Only We Know (Keane)

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Wow. The purpose of my life is to be heartbroken. Yey me.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Song Yet to be Sung (Perry Farrell)

You're at the jubilee,or you're all alone
Because the more, the merrier it sound
My friends, everybody, they all tell me so
From the heights, from the heights of saiyon
ohhh yeah, whisper in your ear
We got to play on, what a designery
A little bit of song, the song yet to be sung

I don't get it. Hmm. Well, I think it denotes a kind of "happy-go-lucky" feel. Well, I'm kinda like that. You know, enjoy life. Life, the world, ourselves, all not yet complete. We're all songs yet to be sung. Naks. I managed to bring some philo in it!!!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I Can See Clearly Now (Johnny Nash)

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

My friends think of me as a sun-shiny person?! Wow. Totally not what I thought. But that's good though. :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Just A Ride (Jem)

Truth, we don't wanna hear
It's too much to take
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans
Ten times a day
And when they don't go
our way we

Breakdown
Yeah we breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
don't be scared
don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don't forget it's just a ride

Ah yes. I always worry about everything. Not that I'm this positive about it. Maybe I need to. Right now I'm freaking out about graduating and having to be responsible for myself.

WHAT IS 2+2?
Who Made You (ACDC)

Who made who, who made you?
Who made who, ain't nobody told you?
Who made who, who made you?
If you made them and they made you
Who picked up the bill, and who made who? (or who picked up the glue,...)

In simpler terms: I hate math. Lol. Or it just confuses me. I remember my high school math teacher saying, "The goal of Math is not to make simple things complicated, but to make complicated things simple."

Easy for him to say, his the second best mathematician in the country (well, he's out of the country now so I don't know anymore).

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Again & Again (The Bird and the Bee)

Say my name, say my name, say my stupid name?
Its stupid how we always seem to do it again, oh.

Youre so stupid and perfect and stupid and perfect.
I hate you, I want you, I hate you, I hate you, oh.
Again, again, again, again.

Ooookaaay. It's lucky I don't have a specific best friend.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Searchlights (David Cook)

Where did you hide yourself
For these searchlights are growing dim
I know this isn't much to recollect
Better now to close this puppet show
And say that it's the end
But for me,
Could you ready yourself
And hold on for a moment?
Just for me,
Could you bury it all
And hold on to this moment?

You made me fall forever
With no end in sight
When everything around is broken
Could you say that this felt right?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No. Really. No.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Waiting For Your Letter (The Cary Brothers)

I need you to justify
All of the darkest things
I need to know why
You left the best of me

I need an apology
I need it without the salt
I need it to fix me
I'm thinkin it's all my fault

Show me the answers
And show me the ways
With a voice that's understanding
Where the mornings last for days
The things I want to tell you
The beats that I could drop
With a voice that's understanding
Time is ours to stop

My life story is, according to this meme, basically bitter and pathetic. Sigh. Oh and this definitely reminds me of something, especially the first stanza above... hehe. Still bitter about that.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Prologue (Phantom of the Opera)

Basically this part is the first scene of the movie when they're auctioning off the remnants of the opera house. The highlight is the chandelier that fell in the fire. The auctioner (?) said that it was mysterious because of the phantom. Blah.

So yeah. I think "mysterious" then. Haha. If it were still him then, yeah, pretty accurate.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Sister Disco (The Who)

Bye, goodbye Sister Disco, Now I go
I go where the music where the music fits my soul
And I, I will never let go, I'll never let go
'Til the echo of the street fight has dissolved

I will choose nightmares and cold stormy seas
I will take over your grief and disease
I'll stay beside you and comfort your soul
When you are lonely and broken and old

I have no idea how to explain this. Either my parents think me a trashy girl or that they left their "disco" days because they had to take care of me. Aw. I'll take the latter.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Bud Light Real Men of Genius: Mr. Supermarket Produce Putter-Outter

You have perhaps the greatest job known to man: squeezing giant melons...

Hahahaha. I would LOVE to dance to this if ever I have a wedding.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
What You're Doing (The Beatles)

Look what you're doing, I'm feeling blue and lonely
Would it be too much to ask you
What you're doing to me?

I've been waiting here for you
Wond'ring what you're gonna do
Should you need a love that's true
It's me

Hahahahaha! I'm gonna haunt you all!!!!!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I'm A Human (Flashlight Brown)

Staying in, fading fast
Call some friends, have a laugh
About the things we used to think were coming

Stories same, nothing fits
Get in late, call it quits
Just as my paranoia comes to feed me

Lazy days, empty nights
I'm alone, but that's alright, i'm taking over this world on my own time

Ah, yes, definitely. Call some friends, have a laugh about the things we used to think were coming...stories same. Yes. We always do that. And for me, the lazy days and empty nights. And yes, I'm going to take over this world on my own time. Just wait and see.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Fat Lip (Sum 41)

'Cuz we like havin' fun at other people's expense and
Cuttin' people down is just a minor offense then
It's none of your concern, I guess I'll never learn
I'm sick of bein' told to wait my turn

I don't wanna waste my time
Become another casualty of society
I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down

Heehee. I'm sorry. :) But sometimes this is true. Guess now it's not a secret anymore.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Big Balls (ACDC)

I'm rather upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballrooms
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

I think that my friends have big balls. Hahahaha! Or that, the more plausible answer is that, I think they are socialites.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Rael 1 (The Who)

The Red Chins in their millions
Will overspill their borders
And chaos then will reign in our Rael

The country of my fathers
A proud land of old order
Like a goldfish being swallowed by a whale

Rael, the home of my religion
To me the center of the Earth

My heritage is threatened
My roots are torn and cornered
And so to do my best I'll homeward sail
And so to do my best I'll homeward sail

Wow. I don't think I'm this... er, culturally patriotic. Culturiotic?

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Lips of an Angel (Hinder)

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those wordsa it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

This sounds way too good. Death by lips of an angel... or maybe it means that I'm gonna die caught cheating. Haha.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Bud Light Real Men of Genius: Mr. Airport Baggage Handler

Why just set a bag down when you can throw it, kick it, or simply ignore it?

Hahaha. No, I do not regret not being an airport baggage handler, nor never having kicked, thrown, nor ignored any baggage.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes)

I'm gonna fight 'em off
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off Taking their time right behind my back
And I'm talking to myself at night because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind behind a cigarette

Er...? Not actualyl funny. Bad Samwyn. Wrong song.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Bud Light Real Men of Genius:: Mr. Bass Plaque Maker

Only a true artist like yourself can turn five pounds of dead fish into a work of art. In your capable hands we know that our trout will never look trashy, our croppy never crappy. Thanks to you we can say, "I caught this bass. What have you ever done?"

This will make me cry because of laughing too hard!!!

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Trust Me (The Fray)

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand

Is this a yes or a no?

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Fall Away (The Fray)

Something I've done that I can't outrun
Something I’ve done that I can’t outrun
Maybe you should wait maybe you should run
But there's something you've said that can't be undone

And you fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away from your past
It’s following you now

Yes, this is definitely scary.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Dear Prudence (The Beatles)

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?

Yey, somebody likes me! haha. As if.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Against All Odds (Mariah/Westlife)

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace,
When I'm standing taking every breath,
With you, ooohhh,
You're the only one who really knew me,
At all.

Hmm. Who?

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Guiseppe Fortunino Pensiero (basta classical!)

So... nothing really hurts then. Or that I can't understand what hurts (because I can't understand teh lyrics!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Corner of Your Heart (Ingrid Michealson)

Romantic Comedies Festival: Serendipity

A professor of mine gave us a sort of random assignment a couple of weeks ago. It was for advertising class, but she told us to write a one page reaction paper on the movie Kate & Leopold. Why? I don't know. Because she found it nice, I guess.

Anyway, I am supposed to post about that movie but I want to submit the paper first because I'm going to get excerpts from it. Don't wanna be accused of just copy-pasting a blog post. Well, that assignment, and the stress of these last few weeks, has gotten me started on a new project: a romantic comedy festival.

Thanks to Gmail's cute little Task applet, I made a list of romantic comedies I wanted to watch. I was initially planning for a marathon, but the list got a little too long. So now I think I'll just watch one per day, provided that I have enough spare time. Thank goodness this weekend is a little freer for me. I do have to get up early tomorrow (actually, wake up time is in 5 hours) to finish a research for a paper. But hey, it's my 21st Valentine as a single person. Gimme a break.

So the movie I just watched was Serendipity. I've seen it a couple of times before but never wholly. This is like the first time I watched it with all my attention. It was wonderfully light. Sigh. I love romantic comedies. Fine, think me a fool and an airhead for this specific preference but it cures a lot of life-ailments. First of all, they make people feel good. Not everyone, but it works that way for me. They take you away for a time, as movies normally do. And you start to think, what if... Well, sometimes it's just fun for me to imagine. Last, they are just relaxing. Really. I love the sit-back-and-give-your-brain-a-break characteristic of romantic comedies. Of course, they're best served with either cakes, chocolates, or ice cream. Hmm. I might just do that tomorrow.

Serendipity. A fortunate accident. The movie revolves around these two people who met and spent a few hours with each other, probably fell in love right then, and because of the circumstances (they were both committed to other people) left everything up to destiny. A friend of mine commented that she didn't like the movie too much because she found the almost-but-not-quite meet-ups of the couple frustrating and childish (particularly the elevator). For anybody who's seen the movie (and I'm not gonna elaborate for want of preserving the innocence of those who haven't), you know about the elevator and the book and the bill. It was a series of "almosts", and true, it was a little frustrating at first, but for me that was the beauty of it.

The "meant-to-be" ideaology is not taken seriously nowadays. Logic has replaced the importance of the gut-feeling. But what this movie does is take the viewer and slap them hard across the face with a basic human truth: we rely on our instincts. We are not governed by them (unless we let ourselves to be), but behind all decisions, even the most logical ones, there is some degree of instinct in them, especially in making life decisions. Some of the best decisions that have made some people very successful were instinctual. It's all programmed into our self-preservation feature.

Anyway, this movie started out with a feeling that, though they wanted to be already, they weren't supposed to be together yet, so they set out to do these tasks as experiments to see if they were meant to be together. The whole idea was, if they met again after all the random things they did (and only leaving their first names with each other) then that's validation of their "destiny". So it really pushes the whole "let fate decide" thing, which isn't always healthy, but in this case makes the movie a lot more romantic. I mean, it wouldn't be called Serendipity otherwise. Well, okay, the movie could be called Destiny or Fate but that would be totally lame, right?

I'm not really an avid subscriber to this "leave it to fate" thing. I do believe, to some degree, that some things are really meant for you, but I don't base my decisions on them. I don't choose things simply because "I'm meant to". I get that feeling afterward. Like in choosing to go to my current school, for example. I didn't choose it because I thought that I was destined to. Heck, I hated it during the first few months and seriously considered transferring. But I'm not a quitter so I stuck it out. Well into the second year, that's when I felt that maybe, just maybe, I was really meant to be here. The school's general advocacy is sort of in line with mine. It provides me what I think I need to grow and I'm overall happy with how things are. I'm comfortable in it, and couldn't see myself being anywhere else. So yeah, I guess I was meant to be here.

As for love... Well, I'm keeping the faith. Hahaha. Malay mo diba. No, really, love is where people most rely on fate. I guess because it's too abstract a concept. There's no one specific solid feeling of love unlike anger or hunger or sleepiness. I mean, guys, tightening of the chest could also mean you're having a heart attack. It skipping a beat could mean something else than being smitten. So I guess we really don't have anything to hold on to when it comes to love. It isn't always so clear. How do you know if it's only infatuation or something well beyond that, right? That's why we more or less just leave it up to fate. And time. It's the only way of "experimenting" and getting evidence.

As for me? Well, for the sake of Valentines' Day, I'm gonna make an optimistic albeit vague statement: I still believe.

No, this is not about a specific person. Ayun wala na talaga hahaha and ayoko na. I thought about what I really wanted and there's no match whatsoever and I value myself and my happiness in that aspect too much to settle for anything less.

Although I think Jon Avila and I are meant to be together. Hahaha. I can state viable reasons. But not now.

BWISET!!!

Lintek naman kasi may nagcoconcert sa park sa tapat ng bahay namin! Nakakaasar talaga! Bakit ba hindi nalang sa barangay hall sila doon sa tapat ng Agora mall? At least doon commercial area eh ampucha naman residential area dito eh! Ang hirap hirap nanga intindihin ni Kant dagdagan ba naman ng dumadagundong na mga bass! Kailangan kong ulit-ulitin para lang makatagos sa utak ko yun mga sentence dahil sa ingay! Tapos eto pa si Kant eh ang haba haba ng mga sentences eh lintek kaya namang sabihin si iisa o dadalawang sentence ang ibig-sabihin. Pahirapan pa talaga eh! Hindi nanaman ako makakatulog, tapos kelangan ko pa gawan ng 1-page paper ito na kailangan kong paghusayan dahil C+ lang ako sa orals. Ano ba yan! Bakit ba! Tapos bukas I have about 5 things to do! Wala pa akong nachecheck sa list ko! Lintek naman ang ingay! Hindi ko naman mareklamo yan sa barangay diba eh kasi PARA SA MGA BARANGAY OFFICIALS ANG PARTY!!! Nakakabuwiset talaga! Dati ok naman dito tahimik naman ayan ginawang party place ang park!

Pero in fairness yun mga singers, ewan ko sinong bands pero basta anjan si Jimmy Bondoc, kuhang kuha yun mga kinocover nila na foreign songs. With You ngayon ni Chris Brown ang kinakanta. OK naman.

Speaking of Chris Brown, nabalitaan niyo na ba ang kaso niya? OMG talaga. WTH. Bakit niya nagawa yon, kung ginawa ba niya talaga iyon.

So ayun lang. Pipilitin ko nang makarating sa page 5. Grabe. 34 pages man, tapos ang font niya ay parang TNR 8. Lintek talaga. I will invest in soundproofing materials na rin.

Last Three Weeks

I've been feeling like I'm drowning in schoolwork since last week. Well, I'm actually one of the fortunate ones who felt that way only last week. There are people who have been struggling to stay afloat since the sem began. Heck, since the year began because of thesis. Ugh.

Anyway, I've written a 30-something-item task list last week. I've officially ticked off about 12 boxes so yey for me. The only problem is that for every box I check, two more get added. Argh. It's a bottomless task list.

Okay, not really, since there are only three weeks left in the seniors' school year. Each of the days in those three weeks are jam-packed with requirements though so it feels more like years rather than weeks. I want all the requirements to end. I just want to get things over with. But at the same time, while I was having one of my precious "staring blankly at empty space" breaks, I realized that this time, when the schoolwork ends... It really is the end of it. I mean, further education is more of a luxury than a necessity still, just a little bit, so unless I do that right away, the end of Feb is really the end of schoolwork for me.

It scares me. It really scares me. After this, I actually have to do something with my life. I actually have to do something. I was envisioning a summer-long bumming around period but the fact that I applied for an internship position that I'm perfect for and had the right credentials for and haven't received a reply until now (sent the email 3 weeks ago) just made me uneasy. I mean, I know I am the person for that job. And it's an unpaid internship. It's not like I'm doing it for the money. The only thing they'll be spending on me is space and a little time and effort. Not getting accepted to a job I'm sure I can do made me think about what would happen if I apply for something I'm not that confident about?

I'm really effing annoyed. Really. Really really really. Maybe I should snail mail my application too in case the contact person doesn't really check her inbox. Or maybe my application got sent to junk mail. Seriously. This is the second time I applied for an internship in that company. I don't know if I'm just such a loser or if getting in there requires some inside connection because the ones I knew who got an internship position there knew someone from inside.

I'll call them in March.

I have to get back to Kant now.

Guilty...

I'm feeling guilty. Awhile ago, as I was waiting for the car to pick me up, I went and hung out at National Bookstore. I didn't want to hang out at Starbucks anymore since I'm trying to cut down on sweets and whatever I can ingest, basically (things are starting to get a little snug). So there. I can't eat books. I thought, okay, I can just sit in a corner and read the articles we're going to have a quiz on tomorrow. Then when I get home I can go do my other homework.

But then I saw the sale racks and went to check them out. I've looked through those before but nothing really interested me. Then I saw Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason for only 75php! That's like, even cheaper than in Books For Less or in Booksale. The really cheap books there are either yellowing already or have little tears and stuff. But these ones are in great shape. So I looked around more and found a copy of The Jane Austen Book Club. So I got that, and... 6 other books, including the novelization of the comic book miniseries 52.

It all totaled up to 485php. Wonderful! A standard paperback costs an average of 300php and these 8 books only costs 485! I used my card (which dad pays for) so I'm already guilty about that. It's only the start of February and my total swipage has already gone over... 4k, I think. Wow. Oops. But hey, around 1,300 is for gas which the whole family uses so that's not exactly a wholly personal buy. So I'm counting that out. So I've spent about 3k on myself in a week... What have I been buying?!

Food
Toiletries
A pair of shoes
Books

Yeah. That's about it. Haven't even gone clothes shopping yet. Argh. So now I have to hold off swiping for 3 weeks!!!

So anyway, I was already feeling guilty about that when the car arrived. My driver had on an AM station broadcasting the news. It was all about lay-offs and people not able to get jobs and price hikes and crying...

Ugh.

I bought 8 books just because I was bored and all around people are scrounging up every cent they could find because they don't have food or their mom's sick or something. And those books are probably gonna rot first in my Unread Books cabinet before I'd be able to read them.

Man, I feel terrible. And there isn't exactly a money-back policy in NBS.