Very Superficial List of My Top 10 Guys of 2007!!!

To save you from all the murderous things I've been posting, here's a bit of eye candy!

As promised, here's my top ten list of guys that I found hot, cute, or just tickled my fancy for this year.

10. Christopher Gorham

He's Henry from Ugly Betty, but I actually started liking him back in 1999 when he played Harrison John, a nobody in high school, in the show Popular. Few people know about this show (because they're probably busy watching Dawson's Creek!) which is annoying because it's quite good. I sort of went twilight zone and downloaded the first season of Popular because I never got to finish watching it since it suddenly got canceled over here.

Why he's on the list: He's just adorable as a dork. And I like guys with glasses. (not all, but most)

9. David Boreanaz

He's just hot. He was Angel in Buffy, and he was hot then. He's still hot now in Bones as Seeley Booth with his cute patterned socks and outrageously huge belt buckles. And I absolutely love his and Tempy's (his partner) chemistry.

Why he's on the list: It actually is not just him. I just love his dynamics with his co-star. It makes him cuter when he goes all "dumb jock" on the show.

8. Chris Pine

Ah, Chris. I went to see his latest movie Blind Dating back in July. It was okay, except for that one hideous line that's supposed to be the climax of the movie. (I posted it here somewhere, check in the July 2007 archive)

Why he's on the list: Princess Diaries 2. He was just such a prince charming there. I know it deviated so much from the book but that's why I watch the movie over and over. It's a cheesy chick flick but whatever. It's one of my happy movies!

7. Justin Hartley a.k.a Green Arrow/Oliver Queen

Seriously, the first time I saw Oliver Queen I was like......*faint*.

Why he's on the list: He's just really sexy. Seriously. Look at him! Oh and he gave me another reason to keep on watching Smallville (even though his character's gone now :( )

6. Jake Cuenca

First local artista here! And the only one. Lol. He's one of my superficial crushes. He's just hot. Although his acting skills still have a lot of room for improvement, still. His a pretty face.

Why he's on the list: I'm being pro-Pinoy! And I promised you eye candy so there. :)

5. Jensen Ackles a.k.a. Dean Winchester

He's one of the pretty boys. He was hilarious back then and now that he's dying (his character in Supernatural, I mean), he's even better! He's just an all-out joyride!

Why he's on the list: He has great eyelashes. I want ones like his.

4. Chris Tiu

Ah. Chris.

As related to me by a friend:

Two girls were walking and complaining about their shitty week. A professor was walking behind them and he could hear them complaining.

Girl 1: I hate this week! It's such a hell week. And my prof sucks!
Girl 2: Yeah mine too! She gave us too much homework it's ridiculous!

Then, the two girls suddenly stopped to look at something on the bulletin board.

Girl 1: So, are you feeling better yet?
Girl 2: *sigh* Yeah I think I am.
The two girls walked away. The professor, curious as to what made them stop yakking, looked at the bulletin board and saw... ...that they were looking at a picture of Chris Tiu.

Why he's on the list: He's just...perfect. (as far as I know) He kind of made me have faith in the male population again.

3. Eric Dane a.k.a. McSteamy

I actually saw him in Charmed where he played Phoebe's boss, Jason Dean. I found him really attractive back then and then forgotten all about him and now he's back in my radar.
Now I know why Addison cheated on Derek. Lol! Seriously, just look at him. If every 35-year-old man looked like him, then everyone would be happy. At least all the women will be.

Why he's on the list: The word "McSteamy" says it all!

2. Jared Padalecki a.k.a. Sam Winchester

He may be not as much fun as Dean, but he is as good-looking. I don't know exactly why I like him better than Dean. I mean, Sam is uptight and annoying at times and is a kind of know-it-all... But he's still oh so hot. Really. And he's really tall.

Why he's on the list: Because I like geeky guys.

and the winner is...

1. Randy Orton

I just... He's just... Oh man. He's annoyingly arrogant, but that just makes him even sexier. And he's really tall and muscular and hot. I should stop now.

Why he's on the list: Because everytime I see him I go, "Damn. It should be a crime to look that good."

It's midnight! Happy 2008 everyone!!!

I've Got an Hour and a Half...

And I'm still 8 posts away from my goal! Argh!!!

Another un-holiday-ish post for you guys. Because of all the new horror stuff that I found, I remembered some of my old bookmarked ones and went back to check them out.

Sad to say that one of them (Bitten ~ Behind the Horror Show) is somehow gone already. It was a really cool horror movie review blog, and I think they did book reviews too. I found the website that the blog was dedicated to here, but its last update was way back in 2006! I did look around and I think it's still worth a visit. There are really cool Asian horror films I've never seen before there.

Now for my "serial killer" phase --> Dead Silence. I was researching about Jack the Ripper a year ago for history class and I stumbled upon this blog about serial killers! I know it's kind of creepy that I enjoy reading this, but really, it's quite interesting. I thought serial killers were really rare, but because of this blog I discovered that they're actually abundant even today.

There's even an 8-year-old serial killer! Can you believe that?! What kind of twisted world do we live in? And the profiles are kind of helpful too. I mean, you can't be too careful, right? It says there that "organized" serial killers can live two separate lives, and no one is the wiser. One man is described by his wife as "the perfect husband" or something. They had a great marriage, and then lo and behold, he turns out to be a serial killer. Man. And also, there are some people who actually collect serial killer memorabilia like their toe clippings and sketches from inside their cells and stuff. It's really disgusting when you think about it, but to each his own, yeah?

New Year Traditions

I know I missed 3 hours of posting. Sorry. I fell asleep. :p

However, sleep has given me some post ideas because I'm kinda running out of gory stuff.

Since we're celebrating the coming of 2008, I'll let you in on how uneventful this holiday is for me.

Stages of My New Year's Eve:

Stage 1: Wake up (this may be any time from early morning or as late as 6pm) and wait for evening to come (if I wake up at 6pm then there's no need to wait already).

Stage 2: Bathe and prepare to go to relatives' home to have dinner

Stage 3: Have dinner at relatives' house. Either bring a book, an mp3 player, or mobile phone with games because everybody will be talking to each other except me (I have to kill about 3 hours).

Stage 4: Go home (perk: more cash!) and wait for the explosions to reach its peak and then subside (I hate non-pretty fireworks.) There usually are movie marathons on Star Movies. They usually show long movies like LOTR or Star Wars or Harry Potter. This time, they're showing the X-Men trilogy. I like I like!

Stage 5: It's midnight. Have media noche with family and stay up until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Watch firework displays on TV and wait for the other countries to finish their countdown.

That's basically it! So...how do you spend your new year eve?

Games!!!

So while I was on my horror flick sites browsing spree, I found British Horror Films. I checked it out because all the horror films that reach the Philippine shores are either from the US or from other Asian countries. (IMO, Asian horror films are way scarier. Whenever they remake one in Hollywood it just isn't the same...)

I looked around to get some idea what Brit horror film is worth watching, and then I saw this: Baron Frankenstein's Keepy-uppy Game.

The concept is simple: don't let the "ball" hit the ground. But the ball being the severed head of Frankenstein's monster makes it way more fun! Lol. It's just that I have no idea how the game ends. Is there a proper ending? Or do I just close the window or something? My top score is only 27 (hey, the head is spewing blood so it's a bit slippery!). Maybe I should get to a certain score for me to win?

Here's a screenshot:


Anyway, check it out!

Would You Stay In This House?

I would, if there are like, 10 of us in one room and we'd never sleep.


Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast is a house that's a historical landmark in Fall River, Massachusetts, because of a terrible terrible heinous crime that happened there. Lizzie Borden, a member of one of the families that lived in that house, was said to have murdered a businessman and his wife. The verdict was "not guilty", but still a lot of people think she did it.

The house was unoccupied for a long time, and then now it's opened as a bed & breakfast for people who want to, I don't know, encounter the ghost of a murderer or something. It's a real life haunted house. One can choose to just look around and avail of cool stuff from the gift shop, or one can stay overnight and wait for the chills of the night. In the morning, they serve the same breakfast that the Bordens had when the murder happened.

I just find it really weird and twisted that this "bloodied" house can even become commercial. I mean, there's a threat of actually encountering angry spirits or something in the middle of the night! But I guess that's its allure, right? It's pretty unique; I give it props for that. :) It would make a great Halloween getaway, for that extra freaky ghoulish feel.

Happy New Year's Eve!

So... In twelve hours, it'll be a whole new year all over again.

A lot has happened even though it seems to me that my life is as boring as ever. I do try to make it exciting, you know. :)

So to celebrate another year of probable nothingness, I'm going to try to post every hour until midnight, which is quite problematic for me because I'm going out tonight and I can't post using my mobile phone... Whatever. I'll try to sort things out later. Or maybe I'll just post a sum of twelve posts. No significance on the number there, I just happen to wake up at this time.

So, to start off my mini "blogathon", I've stumbled upon some really awesome blogs these past few days.


My brother and I have been having nightly DVD marathons since Christmas, and we ended up watching horror flicks every time. I really don't know how I discovered these sites, but they're pretty great horror sites.

The Horrors of It All is a site dedicated to pre-code (referring to the Comic Code) horror comic books. This blog contains awesome scans of those comic books for all of us to enjoy - for FREE!!! And it contains links to other really cool sites.

Horror Movie a Day is just that. The author reviews one horror film per day! I like discovering old horror movies. I especially like zombie movies with the title "_ of the Dead". Some of the ones I've seen are brain-numbingly stupid but the whole zombie movie genre found their redemption for me in Shaun of the Dead! Lol. Anyway, it's an interesting read.

Cereal Killers. This is the first blog of its kind that I've seen. Check it out. It literally deals with cereals!!! I'd love to buy some, if there's any available. Here's my favorite -->

Here ends my first post. Later!

Voldemort, Voldemort, oooh Voldy-voldy--voldy-voldemort!

A couple of week s ago, I downloaded about 13GB worth of Christmas videos. From classic holiday flicks like A Christmas Carol to modern Hollywood products like Santa Clause (1 to 3) to silly cartoon specials like Johnny Bravo Christmas, I have them all, safely tucked inside a folder here in my fast-diminishing Drive C. I really need a new hard disk.

So, as my quest for Christmas videos went on, I stumbled upon these awesome videos which I've almost forgotten about (and I feel really guilty about that. I mean, just because the books are all out doesn't mean that I could forget...what kind of fan am I?! --crazy--).

POTTER PUPPET PALS!!!

I absolutely loved the first two clips they made: Bothering Snape and Trouble at Hogwarts. But guess what, they have new ones! They even did a live performance some time early this month. Of course it's somewhere in the US of A but thank goodness for technology, right?

You can just check out my Multiply site for the rest of the videos, but I'm gonna post my favorite of all.

Potter Puppet Pals in
THE MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE

I swear, you're never gonna get this out of your head once you've seen it. it's awesome! I'm still figuring out a way on how to make this my ring tone.

Snape...Snape...Severus Snape...
Snape...Snape...Severus Snape...
Dumbledore!
Ron-Ron-Ron Weasely!
Snape...Snape...Severus Snape...
Dumbledore!
Ron-Ron-Ron Weasley!
Hermione. Hermione!
Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!

*I can't type everything HAHAHA I just watched it again, makes me crack up every time!

So now, back to reality. I have two long articles to edit and I've only finished like 1/5 of the first one. I also have to make invitations shaped like Chuck Taylors and read about 200 pages worth of readings, all in one day.

I'm going back to my Grey's Anatomy marathon now.

Sausages

I just found out that we have 5 different kinds of sausages (or hotdogs) in the freezer: foot long, the fat one, the brownish pepper-y one, the thin beef hotdog I brought home from Subic, and the red Tender Juicy one. I had one of each for dinner. :)

Now I feel like throwing up. :D

Heaven Stops in 24 Hours

It's been a wonderful wonderful sembreak and I can't believe that today is the last day of it. It was great just hanging around in my room watching tv and sleeping and not worrying about having to finish reading something or writing a paper or whatever.

Although I didn't really do anything special, no trips or crazy partying (not even the Beyonce concert! Huhuhu!), I still loved my 4 weeks of nothingness. Who wouldn't want a month of no worries? I even fixed my distorted sleeping pattern! Now I'm awake at 7am and asleep by 10pm. Lol. I'm like 6 yrs. old or something, but at least that's healthy right? I've forgone the afternoon nap this week. Been busy. Hopefully I can keep this sleeping pattern up the whole sem.

The only catch is, sembreak=no allowance=broke. Seriously. My search for an income source kept me busy the last two weeks. This last week was the busiest. I've actually made 40 pieces of mini apple pies this week. Wow. I ate about 3 of them. I've only managed to raise about a week's allowance worth. But that's better than nothing, right?

So I'll end it here. I wanna watch Good Morning Mickey for the last time (even though I still can since my classes are all in the afternoon, this is the last time I'll be enjoying it because I'm not waiting for a class or studying later or whatever). I don't actually love it; it's just cute. And I wanna have a BIG breakfast. Yey!

Good morning Philippines!!!!

(Can't believe I've become a morning person!)

Night Out with Friends

Goodness, I never realized how long I haven't seen my friends. It's actually been months!

Anyway, we went to Greenhills tonight. As usual. But I like it there; it's more comfortable and more conducive to hanging out than Greenbelt or anywhere else. Well, my house is the best place to hang out but whatever. Lol.

I actually didn't want to go out tonight. I just wanted to stay home and watch cartoons and watch the stuff I've downloaded and go to sleep to wake up the next day to do the same thing. And of course, there's this whole Glorietta (a huge mall) blowing up thing. It was scary. But then I thought, okay, I'll go for them. I really didn't want to spend that much money. But I ended up spending about 600php for food. I hate it. If only I could regurgitate it all back... Hope I'm not grossing anybody out.

Should've went for fast food.

After waiting and waiting and waiting for Bats to arrive, we ended up playing basketball in Timezone. Since we all have no money left, we chipped in for a card. And we only afforded two games each. After that we didn't even have money to pay for the pay lounge. And we really had to pee. So we ended up...

Paying. Lol. Hey, that's 10php per person. I could've bought 20 pcs. of fishball with that. And all we did was leave toxins behind. Agh. Anyway, that's cheaper than having kidney stones removed.

Our final "resting place" was at Starbucks. I know we were super kaduper loud awhile ago but who cares. I had a lot of fun just talking about stupid meaningful and sometimes gross stuff. (We actually started talking about pooping while we were having dinner and then we somehow got to talking about boogers... Yeah, we are great conversationalists.)

No, this post has no "lesson". The only thing I learned was that I have to go get a driver's license already because all of my friends already have one and are already driving (except for one lol I'm not alone yey!).

And oh yeah, I got called an SSB, which stands for Single Since Birth, which, I think, is a more depressing term for my situation than NBSB (no boyfriend since birth). Whatcha think?

What a sweet sweet power!

I was just watching the latest episode of heroes, and man, that new girl has a kick-ass power!

I can't remember the character's name but she's working in a fast food restaurant. And her superpower is kinda like Charlie's but for television!

Charlie's powers were when she reads something she instantly remembers it right? Like when Hiro gave her the Japanese dictionary or phrase book or something, she learns how to speak Japanese fluently right away right.

So this new girl, she just has to see something on TV, see something being done on TV and just like that, she knows how to do it.

This power is just so amazing especially for TV bums like me!!!

The first thing she learned was how to make a rose shaped tomato. You know, like gourmet stuff. So yeah, it was cool and all. But what made me write this post was the second thing she learned.

You see her brother wanted to watch this PPV of a wrestling match. They're Micah's relatives, by the way. So as you know, Micah can talk to machines and make it do what he wants it to do. So Micah rigged the cable for his cousin. And then the girl came home and saw the two boys watching a fight between Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton.

And guess what the girl saw.

That scene made me go, "No way is she gonna do that!"

But she did and it was awesome!!!

No, the RKO isn't dramatic enough.

She learned how to do the 6-1-9!

Seriously. I was like, how's she gonna do that if there are no ropes?! But then there's a pole and she swung from that and 6-1-9-ed the robber of the fast food restaurant! It was so freakin' awesome!

If I had powers like that, then I won't be here typing this. Lol. I'd be some sort of celebrity chef already 'coz I love watching cooking shows! And maybe kind of a Martha Stewart because somehow, I always end up watching her show. Or I'd be a cartoonist already because I keep on watching the toon tips on Disney Channel! Wow. If I had that power... I'd probably have an iPod by now.

AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

My desktop computer won't turn on so I've been using this laptop for almost a week now. And then I nicked the long cable for the internet from my brother's laptop. He has a desktop so hey, why complain. I've been borrowing his computer for the past two months. I had the harder time.

Anyway, I've been downloading the latest episodes of my fave tv shows...for hours now. And I mean hours! Usually they only take at most 2 hours each episode. But now it's been...what, 5 hours? I have no idea if it's the laptop or it's the cable that has the problem.

Okay so right now one episode of Ghost Hunters has good speed. I need those tv shows to keep me occupied for four weeks! Lol. And of course, as the tv show supplier, it's my job. :)

I know this is a pretty worthless post.

I'm still thinking of a way to earn money this break. I really really need money. My pay is so small that my weekly allowance is bigger. And break=no allowance. I have to sell something. My friends and I were thinking of having a garage sale. I still have to ask the others though. I did scrounge up some clothes that I don't wear anymore. Next I'm gonna sort through my shoes. Not that I have a lot of shoes.

I'm thinking of making arts and crafts... I love making things out of paper. My tutee has a humongous origami book and I'd love to have one just like it. There are a lot of useful things in it like how to make those fancy gift boxes and stuff. It's just awesome. I do have a lot of paper to recycle here.

I'll post pics here later if ever I'm able to make something useful!

So... This Is Sembreak

The only light in my room right now is from this laptop.

No, I'm not being emo. Lol. It's just weird having nothing to do. I cleaned my room yesterday and got about a foot tall of scratch paper (readings from past sems and stuff... judging from the tall pile beside my bed, I think I've spend about 1000 pesos in overall photocopying.) My dear ol' nanny said that I still have a couple drawers full of trash to go through. Ah, yes. That's my job during holidays.

So right now I'm making playlists of Christmas songs for my parents. My mom just wanna have a Christmasy feeling in the house I guess. It's just an innate quality of Christmas songs, making people happy. Although there's still a couple months to go, I've been listening to carols for days. It makes me happy.

My dad wants a CD to listen to while driving. It's adorable and kinda sad when he said, "Gawan mo na ako ng CD para mapakinggan ko sa kotse, kasi kung hindi, wala na next year nanaman."

I was like, yeah... Better we start celebrating early 'coz in December, they'll be busy with the ham-making (yes, we make Christmas ham so if anybody is interested... message me!) and I'd be busy having long tests and school stuff. Before we know it, it's Christmas eve and we'd only have a day to actually listen to these songs... And then Christmas Day would pass by just like that, and we'd have to wait another year...

Every year for about six or seven years now, I've been wishing for a really wonderful Christmas, like the ones I had when I was younger. I don't know why Christmas just started getting dreary some time when I hit high school. Is it because I'm a grown up now? (I can't believe I just admitted that. I'm effing 20, officially a grown up. Well, okay, not yet. But next year I will be.) Is Christmas really for kids only? Or is it because when I was younger, I knew what Christmas is all about and now I've forgotten about it?

Maybe it's because we held the party here in our home before, and we'd have games and stuff. The house would be bursting to the rim with people, employees and relatives alike, all with smiles on their faces. The buzz was just wonderful. And of course, I still had my lolo back then. He was really patient with me even though I'd drag him around the house so we can play with building blocks and stuff.

Lately, what has been my Christmas routine? Okay, so in high school, I'd be back from softball games just in time for the company party which was held in some restaurant. Or I'd be tired from writing all that siao khai and ta khai. No, I don't participate in games anymore because my cousins weren't there anymore to look like a fool with me. When I was little, my cousins were pretty much the same age as I am. We would join all the games and fight over prizes and stuff. It was loads of fun. Now there's a new generation of kids. I don't even know them. I can't join in any "contests" because...well, they're for employees right? And I don't know any of them. The ones I knew are now all gone. My cousins don't attend the parties anymore. So basically during company parties I just attend to make an "appearance" and just eat and drink. That's all. There were many times when I just wanted to hang out in one of my friend's place that night. It would've been much more fun.

Sixteen, seventeen years ago, I'd help my mom shop and wrap up gifts and I'd go downstairs and put them under the tree and be all happy 'coz I felt like I were Santa. Christmas eve, I'd be hanging in my parents' room watching cartoons and every Christmas special I can find. Then I'd be called to take a bath so I could dress up for the party later. Today... Well, what do I do? Can't even remember what I did last year. Oh yeah, I burnt my hand baking cakes for the people in Sta. Cruz and I didn't even get as much as a casual "Thanks". They just...left it there. I don't even know if anybody ate even a sliver. It was my best cake recipe" White Chocolate cake. Even my brother, who is my biggest critic when it comes to cooking, said that I did something right when I made my first white chocolate cake.

Well this time I found a sugar-free cookie recipe. I haven't tested it yet. Maybe I will tomorrow. But heck, if that's what they want, cardboard tasting things. Then that's what I'll make.

Anyway, I don't know. I guess I'll just stop wishing for a happy Christmas. I don't think I can remake what I had before. Maybe it is a law of nature that as one grow older, the less one enjoys Christmas. Well, unless one has a "special someone" to spend it with. Then that individual would be all set until February. Agh. No. I'm not gonna complain about my permanent status again.

I'm just gonna complain about the abysmal download speed of this laptop. Goodness! I've been downloading the latest episode of heroes for almost two hours now! TRhat should be done by now. Grr!

And so now I gotta go to the hospital with my mom. She's having a check up, I guess.

Whoop-dee-doo.

I can't even find the USB that connects my mp3 player to the computer so I can't put in my Christmas songs. How sucky is that? I want an ipod! Only two months' worth of salary and allowance to go...

Which Hero Am I?

Which Hero Are You?

My Result: Isaac Mendez

What a work of art! Talented and insightful, you've got drive and vision to spare, even if you do have a few bad habits. While you may struggle to do the right thing from time to time, you always follow your instincts and try your hardest — and you usually succeed!

Take this test >

Ok, I was hoping to be Hiro because he's just the most adorable thing... But hey, Isaac's great too. I used to dream of being a painter... And I'm hoping to make my own comic book. I just subscribed to Archie! Yey!

So... What's Up People?

I don't really have anything substantial to say right now. Just thought that I'd pass the time while I wait for the really slow downloading of the first season 3 Supernatural episode. And Smallville 7's second. Yikee! I'm happy. I have a life again. Well, for me that's a life, downloading and watching tv shows. I'm kind of the tv show provider in school. I had this "download all I can" phase a year ago, and that went on for months and months... I think it's still going on. It's just that I've ran out of tv shows to download. But more importantly, I've ran out of disk space. So after finals week, I'm gonna archive all the movies and tv shows into dvds so I can download more crap off the net. Yey!

I'm feeling kind of shitty right now. Last night, this was just an itch in my throat. This morning it was a pretty uncomfortable itch coupled with dryness and coughing. During my abysmal tutoring session, it became a fever. Slight fever, but still, a fever, and only a few days before finals week.

It's my usual tonsillitis. Maybe I should've gotten these yanked out when I was younger so it wouldn't keep on bothering me. I don't know. I guess I'm kind of attached to them. Sometimes being sick (not lethally though) is nice because everyone acts so concerned and I get to just stay in the room with my aircon on and watch tv. I like the hugs too. Yeah yeah, I'm a baby. I like it. I mean, being in a hellhole for months and months trying to be Magis or be close to being it, really takes a lot outta someone. My grades are sucky (goodbye DL) and I have the stubbornest laziest kid with the shortest attention span as a tutee. Ok, I gotta give her credits though. She managed to pass her second mastery test (like a long test for kindergarten). Her first score was 13/20. That was before I was tutoring her. The second was when I was already tutoring her. She scored 24/30. Yey for her! And yey for me too for actually getting something into and imprinting it on her brain!

She's got another mastery test on Monday. And it took her 2 whole hours to write 61-100 in Chinese numbers. Seriously. I'm proud of myself for finally learning how to be patient because I was having a headache already and the High School Musical 2 soundtrack was playing in the room and she was asking me if her molars looked like pasta when I specifically asked her to sit down and write 61-100 in Chinese...and I didn't snap. Inside my head, I was screaming, but I managed to keep it controlled. Yeah. Yey for that.


Download status: Smallville 7x02--> 81%, 35 mins remaining. Supernatural 3x01-->66% 1 hr 21 mins remaining.

ANG TAGAL PA GUSTO KO NA PANOORIN!!!!!!!!

I wanna be in my room under my covers watching Sam and Dean battle demons... I missed them. It's a miracle I got through 5 months without them. I had to live on reruns!

I'm thinking about the stuff I'm gonna do this sembreak. Of course, a big chunk of sembreak time would be for sleeping. But what else? Oh yeah, I wanna finish my unfinishable unread books. I'm running out of space in my read books cabinet, but I managed to find another place to stash the others. I'm gonna name it my "more already read books cabinet". Yeah I know it sucks. Please don't pick on someone with a scrambled brain who's in dire need of an antibiotics. And a glass of milk. I want a glass of milk, and maybe a banana. I'm not hungry... But I just want some.

It's my dad's birthday today, and that's actually one of the reason why I came close to trashing my tutee's playroom. I planned on getting home early, maybe at around 7:30 so I could spend time with my dad, you know, doing our usual bonding, that is, sitting quietly in front of the television watching half-naked men fake-ly wrestle each other. Yep. That's how we bond. No wonder I turned out like this. Anyhow, there's still a chance to grow. (I don't make sense, do I?)

More High School Musical songs came and went, and even more annoying dancing while not doing the 61-100 Chinese numbers I asked for her to write. The early getaway didn't happen.

I wonder if my parents are still awake? I wanna hang out in their room. That would be weird for most people my age, because I think 20 year olds still have teenage-hood hangover, you know, the angst phase...whatever. I like hanging out with my parents from time to time. I don't know, it kind of makes me feel more at home. It's like when school is just so crazy and I'm pressuring myself to be all magis and stuff... When I hang out with them, I feel like home. Like yeah, the problems and papers are still there, but they're outside of me at that moment. Right then, I'm just shobe (little sister, for those who think that's alien speak). I have an excuse to be fussed over and be lectured (not in a terrifying way, more like to be shared wisdom to) and really say out loud that I'm scared.

I am. I'm scared. And confused. Right now, I really am. Maybe it's just the loneliness speaking (I've been single for 20 years...when will I get used to that? when will I accept the fact that I'd be like this forever and just move on?), but I don't know. Maybe it's something else. It's normal, isn't it? To be confused at my age? I mean, I was just thinking the other day, "Shemay, I only have a year and a half to go... Today I'm only looking back at high school, but pretty soon I'd be looking back at college..."

That thought really scared me.

I don't feel like I'm old enough to be looking back at college. I mean, I still feel the same way I did when I was in high school. I'm still a bit crazy, a bit immature, but I think I've gained a little wisdom. Just a little, not even enough to merit a wisdom tooth, although I already have two. And they're making my front teeth uneven, but not noticeable enough that I have to get braces. Anyways, I'm just really unsure about my capabilities. Like in March, I'd have to go and be an intern in a real company. I'd have to talk to people. Business people! I can't even talk to just people, let alone business people! Will I have to wear heels? I trip while wearing slippers, what more heels?! I can type properly in English, but who says that I can speak like this?!

I CAN'T!!!

I'm gonna die... Really. It's just a scary scary thing, growing up. I took the job as a tutor to teach myself about responsibility (of course, the extra cash helps), but I don't think that's even close enough to compare with what I'm gonna experience out there.... in the real sharky world. Right now, I can rely on my friends to tell me what to do (because I seldom listen in class, or when I listen, I seldom get what the teacher is saying). But what if I'm out there? Who's gonna go through the steps with me? Who's gonna help me with what to do next? Because I get lost right away. I'm not dumb, just a little stupid, that's all. I don't even understand the whole SPSS encoding procedure!!!

There'll be no more group works... Well, yeah, I think there will be. But still, it's not the same. And I'm so worried about my qualifications. Am I good enough? Will my grades be good enough? Do I physically look good enough? (this is the hard part)

This post may be insecurity galore, but I'm sure that someone else out there is feeling the same way. If you're that one soul, please message me. Let's be miserable together. Misery always loves company.

Update on downloads:
Smallville 7x02 ---> 100%! yey!
Supernatural 3x01 ---> 80%, 40 mins to go. come on already! I've already ran out of emo things to say!!!

No Elated Atenean Spirit Tonight

So... Yeah. You probably know.

We lost.

I'm sad. Just really sad. I mean, I'm not sad for me. I can take BS from my Archers friends and cousins. I've put up with it for 3 years.

I'm just really sad for the players and other students who are graduating this March.

I watched the game with several seniors and a super senior, and it just broke my heart to see their faces when the final buzzer went off. It was kind of their "last chance" to see our team win, and maybe get the trophy. Technically, it's not their last because they can always get alumni tickets or see it on tv, but being a student and watching the game is different. It's like being at the epicenter of an earthquake. The energy is just that much.

And Araneta bleachers are made of wood... I think. So when people stomp their feet, it really fells like there's an earthquake. Scary.

WIN OR LOSE IT'S THE SCHOOL WE CHOOSE

I am regretting the days when I didn't care about the UAAP. It did shield me from the jeers of the other camp (well, not so much), but the joy and camaraderie and school pride that I could have gotten out of it would be so worth the taunts.

I am truly sorry about the times that I shrugged our team off saying, "Yeah, we suck. We'll never win that." If only I had Hermy's time turner, I'd go back in time and smack my head so hard it'll go further back in time.

I can't imagine ever saying that from now on. I've seen how hard the team played, how they worked their asses off just to win. And I know they can do it. I am sure they can win. They are good enough. They are great people. I don't know them personally, but I know they are wonderful people and that they are very talented. Whatever happened tonight, I am still so proud of them for having come this far, and maybe even prouder for taking it like true sportsmen.

I was just asking my friends awhile ago if our team had some sort of fanlisting or something, because I really wanna tell them how wonderfully they did and that 3rd place isn't something to be ashamed of. Nobody thinks lesser of them for that. I am even honored to be going to the same school as them, and Ateneo is truly blessed for having them as her team. People who fight like that deserve our respect.

I was kind of planning on just walking up to one of them and shaking their hand and saying, "It's an honor." But I think they'd freak out or something. And I don't know where to find them.

I'm just sad for the players who have played so well and so hard and have now come to their last year in ADMU, but have never tasted the sweetness of a championship. I really feel that they deserve that, but oh well. Life's like that.

I wish all the players would still be able to stay for another year. Get an MA or something. Sigh.

I hope that the Blue community would never lose hope.

There's still next year.

We can do it!

We still believe!

Uhm... Lovely Night?

Okay, tonight isn't exactly lovely.

It's just really... dreary.

Strat Plan sucked like hell. Friday night, I didn't know that we had a deadline. I thought the paper he made us do last Thursday was a group paper. I didn't check my email because 1) no internet here at home Thurs night 2) I was cramming for our one and only Philo long test.

So I didn't see the mail that said that the Global Trends Paper was due the next night at 7pm and it was an individual paper. If only I knew about this, I would've done a lot better. Well, maybe a little bit better. My paper was just full of BS. Really. Well, maybe a chunk of it, because we did discuss some of the things I wrote there. I just didn't cite sources to prove that the global trands I mentioned were really global trends. Argh. I wish I can keep my B class standing. I'm not asking for an A. Just a B will make me really happy.

Actually, an A will make me happier but that's like asking for Chris Tiu to like...talk to me or something.

Speaking of him.

No, I'm not gonna go all gooey and cheesy and fuss over him here. (I already did that in a previous post and I hope nobody read that) I was waiting for my file transfer to finish so I thought, why don't I google him? After all, I was wondering what his full name was. Christopher or Christian?

So, I found out that it was Christopher. Hmm. Why don't they just use the Topher part? Like that dude in That 70s Show. I guess Chris is faster to say.

Anyway, I stumbled over this blog post about him... And it kinda said everything that I wanted to say about Chris. Oh, and that I am really proud that I'm going to the same school as he is, and that I wish he went to SJCS, just to give my high school some glory.

Here's the blog entry I was talking about.

He's Prince Charming personified.

So the blogger said. Rightly put. I bet his parents are so damn proud of him they don't know what to do to express it. I kinda wish I'd be able to make my parents proud like that. I mean, basketball and acads at the same time? I'm not even that active in my orgs and I already get sucky grades. He trains all the time (someone told me the basketball team trains before and after class. what energy!) and is still a consistent DL. I mean... Wow. Just wow. I mean, that alone makes me admire him a whole lot. Throw in the looks and his down-to-earth attitude...

Just perfect.

Oh, and I read somewhere that he was in a Master (the facial cleaner for guys) commercial. I can't remember. Well, I think I do... But very very vaguely. And I can't find it on YouTube. Ah, sucks.

Well, all I can say is, he'd make a girl really really really really really 10-to-the-amouny-of-money-Bill-Gates-has-power happy someday. Or even right know. Don't know his status, don't wanna know either. :)

Oh, and to share a text message about him.. Really corny so don't read on if you hate this kinda thing:

ATTN: Fr. Nebres: "Church of the Gesu to be renamed Iglesia ni Christiu." For more infor, text ILUVTIU to 2366.

I just wanna say that this is kind of unfair to the other players. Really. As much as I admire Chris, I saw how hard Araw and Baclao and Reyes and even Long played last Thursday. I mean, Araw had what, 17 points? Or more? That deserves our appreciation guys!!! The Ateneo Blue Eagles are a TEAM...not just one person.

Oh yeah, and someone said that Chris was like a demigod now. I kinda-sorta agree...based on the way people talk about him. But I wouldn't wanna use that term. I find it a bit...blasphemous or something. I don't know. I see him as more of a celebrity.

Go, celebrity culture.

Shemay!!!!

Ok, after like, what, a month of not checking this blog out, I completely forgot about my chatterbox. Now it's been deleted. Argh! I hate myself. I wanted to keep it going for a long time, and maybe be able to look back at the stupid things I said on it.

ARFGHG!!!!!! &%&^$(&)*(!@%#_)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I wanna stop thinking about that now. This week is stressful as it is. I'm just gonna install a new one.

Ugh. I hate myself!!!!

Anyway, I've got a vat of choco sundae... Nevmind the fat. I just wanna get this week over with!

Comres and Philo, here I come!!!

P.S. I've so much to tell... Oh well. Sembreak = 4 weeks away

Guys, In 3 Minutes We're Gonna Walk Outta Here...

That's what our beadle for Strategic Planning said awhile ago.

Yet again, our professor is late. Late late late late late. Well, I'm kinda thankful for that. I was extra-sleepy awhile ago so after having lunch, I laid down to take a short "nap", about 5-10 minutes. But then I woke up and it's 10 minutes before 12pm! My strat plan class starts at 12. Lol! So I summoned my "the Flash" powers and was on my way by 12.

I thought, hey, my prof's always late anyway, so when I get there, he probably just gotten in. I just hope that he doesn't give a quiz 'coz I haven't read even the title of Chapter 5. Or were we supposed to read Chapter 4?

Anyway, I got there, feeling nauseous and gas-y. I don't get car sick, but this was one of the rare times. Don't know why that is. Maybe I'm not used to moving so fast.

Luckily, I checked the announcements posted on the Com Studio door or else I would've rushed into an entirely different class. I don't need another embarrassing moment.

So, the class is in Com D. The door to Com D was open, but I wasn't hearing any teacher voice. Endless chatter issued from inside. Yes, he wasn't there yet. My Goldpyt buddies were just chatting animatedly. Too bad there wasn't any vacant chairs beside them so I had to confine myself in a chair beside the wall. I miss talking to those guys. Argh. Strat Plan is the only subject we have in common now.

It was almost quarter to 1PM but our prof still wasn't there. This was his all-time latest lateness. Then, our beadle called out, "Hey guys, in 3 minutes, we're gonna walk out of here." Yeah, we were all bored. A very very small part of me (that confirms that I did inherit at least a single nerd gene from my mum) wanted to stay and listen to lecture. Well, we've had about 5 total free cuts already and he's always late. I wanna learn how to strategic plan! And it was my only class for today. I didn't want my trip to school to be a waste.

I skimmed Chapter 4 a bit since I'm a loser and have no one to talk to. The only thing that stuck to me was that "Creative briefs do not need to be creative." That's about it. Then the countdown started.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

All at once, everyone got up and speed-walked out of the classroom. Not even the fire alarm nor earthquake alarm could have gotten us to walk that fast. All for the sake of free cut! (I tripped on a protruding metal thing on the ground when I was rushing out. Agh. Joyceekins was all prepared to catch me. What a brave brave girl. I <3 Joyceee! (^_^) )

I spend a total of about 25 minutes in school. Yep. Now I'm just waiting for my brother to get home. I thought he was arriving this morning!

Yet Another Week

Another Monday is over. Well, what happened? Not much, as always.
I actually got up early today. I slept at around 2Am, which usually means that I'd get up at around 11 or 12 noon already. But today, I got up before 7AM. And it's not the groggy sort of wakefulness. I was fully awake and ready to go. Maybe my body finally recognized my desire to be productive this week.

Finally, after almost a week, I finished reading the article about Turkish speakers in Greece for Com Res. Yep. It's no use actually. I didn't get to answer the question. I didn't even understand the freakin' question. It was left hanging, for us to figure out on our own.

So anyway, I got a client to tutor already. Which is great. Ok, not really. The pay is a bit small, but what the heck. It's experience. My only problem is that the place of the kid I'm supposed to teach is far far away. I don't know how to commute, and my salary isn't enough to pay for our car's gas. Agh. I'm gonna give it a try this week though. And then if it gets too expensive, I'd request for another client.

I'm scared that I might not be able to control the kid. I'm not too good with kids. He/She might get scared of me.

Sooo... My brother's coming home from Hong Kong tomorrow. I'm excited! I hope we'd go out for breakfast. I wonder what he brought home for me.

I'm in a blank/boring mood today so please excuse me...

I just wanna say that I'm sooo *in love* with Randy Orton right now. (hence the photo wave lol!) Isn't he beautiful? He actually looks better with clothes on...

I miss DX!!!!

Melting Away...

Wow, so I am seeing a trend here. Music blog!!! Haha.

Anyway, it's been a while since I last turned on my mp3 player. My mom dragged me along when she went to get her dentures fixed. That takes ages so I brought my music with me. So there I was, sitting on a green, beaten down couch, staring at the dentist's plaques. One was even signed by Ferdinand Marcos. I wasn't even born at his time.

I stuck my earphones into my ears and cranked up the volume. It's nice to not hear the world around me sometimes. I have my little alternate reality. I played the newest playlist in it, and found that I really missed the songs there. I was holding back the head-bobbing because there was this dude hanging around the door. I think he's the dentist's assistant or something. So I sat there, trying to look nonchalant, cramming my friends' inboxes with stupid jokes.

Then I heard this:
(wait for about 10 secs. the song starts then)

Tell me, tell me, what makes you think that you are invincible...
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure.
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable...
Impossible...

I don't know why, but I just melted when I heard this song again. I'm not gonna go all sappy and cheesy right now so that's all I'm gonna say. It's just a really lovely song. That chorus part is amazing. I don't know what to say. It's like I'd want someone to say that to me, or me to say that to someone...

Delilah is so Lucky

I've had the song Hey There Delilah by Plain White Tees in my head for days. It has replaced Stolen. Lol. One day I'm gonna make a list of my Top 10 Best LSS Songs. Wait for that some time at the end of the year.

Anyway, Friday was a good day. It started out alright. I was late for Film History yet again. I am really feeling guilty already. And the other thing is that I wasn't able to go watch Control, the movie about Ian Curtis, Joy Division's lead singer. It was the last showing day that day at Gateway Cinema 4. But the showing time was at 12:30pm. I had class at 2:30 so I didn't go. I'm trying to download it now but I can't find a torrent anywhere. I did find one named Control.avi, but I'm not sure what it is. Please please please let it be the right one.

Com Res is as boring as clipped toenails, like always. We had yet another group activity. We were asked to explain something about the reading he assigned, which I haven't read until now. I really have to get to that tomorrow. I have to be productive! So yeah, I just sat there, nodded my head a bit as everyone else discussed. Oh well. I'm just gonna chip in some of my thoughts on Monday. Magpakitang gilas kahit konti.

The excitement began after my proper classes. Celadon CnP Night! Yey! I had to walk from Comm Dept to ISO. To those who don't know what I'm talking about... That is a really long walk. I'm not good with distances but maybe that's around 1km, give or take a few inches...

So I got there expecting everyone to be bustling around putting up decorations and stuff. But nah. Except for the eye mask thingies that we made the week before, we don't have any decors. Kinda sad, but we had the best after-party! Hahaha!

Well, only very few members attended. Not even half! Another sad thing. And only three of them dressed up for the cosplay theme. I know, my costume sucked (I wore my senior softball jersey and told them that I'm dressed as me three years ago). But we had a blast.

I was assigned to do the name tag writing at registration. I made pretty name tags yey! Now my addiction to colored pens is out. It doesn't really jive with my image. Hmm. They played my "theme song" as Retch calls it during registration. Guess what it is.

Guess.

Ok ok. It's the SPIDER PIG SONG!!!

I do love that song. It's so cute. I'm just not sure whether I should be happy that it's supposed to be my theme song or not...

The CnP video was awesome. It was silly. It was hilarious. It was embarrassing. But I love it!!! I suck at acting but who cares?! We were all in it together!!! (Cue the song... Ok, scratch that.) There were a couple of games. The Sagady-Sa-Po-Po thing was alright. This is a biased comment because we lost to another group. Hehe. The "Speed Knowing" (a version of speed dating) thing we did was fun. I think we were given only a minute to talk. And as you now, I'm such a blabber so the minute was up before my partner had to talk lol! So I changed my strategy and just asked the questions. Two of my flockies attended. I'm very lucky to have them because they are active and they reply to my text messages! But Nikka had to go home early. Aw. Too bad she didn't get to see her flockhead make a fool of herself... (Nobody told me my hair was so messed up in the video that I looked electric-shocked. I did love the background music though. Hey! Nothing You can say! Nothing's gonna change what you've done to me... *Kilig!* I <3 style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0); font-weight: bold;" face="trebuchet ms">boyband songs. Everyone just got into the room and sang and danced along with the song. It seriously showed how old we were. Like, so old... Huhuhu! But it was a lot of fun. Super. I kinda missed doing that with my friends. You know, being crazy and corny. I wish somebody had videotaped that so we can all laugh at it later.... But I guess no one brought a video camera.

As a result, I downloaded F4 songs and was listening to them since last night. Yeah, I know, it's embarrassing. But I missed those songs. It's weird really. My mom's even laughing at me. She says that I'm already really old because I'm already reminiscing at this age. (I was looking through high school photos the other day.)

Well... I miss those days. I'm beginning to get scared whenever I think about "what's next" because what's next is senior year. And then after that, it's work... And it'll go on forever... I just don't know how life would be.

Oh well. Don't wanna think about that now.

What I'm Looking For

I am looking for the wrong person, but not just any wrong person.
I'm looking for the right wrong person.
Someone I would lovingly gaze upon and think,
this is the problem I would like to have...

The title of this post is actually the title of a song by Brendan Benson. It's a really fun song actually. It's about not knowing what one wants. Not really knowing what this life's about, and where one is going. But life goes on so one has to just go along with it. Maybe eventually we'll find what we're looking for.

Here's the lyrics if anybody's interested.

Well, the quote above is just one of those quotes... You know, one that was like it came from me. But come to think of it, no, I do not want another problem. Because how can you love freely if you know that the person you're supposed to be loving isn't the right one? Well, I guess I get the point of this quote. I mean, how do you really know if someone's "the right one"? You just go out there and get into it. If he's the wrong one, then who cares? At that moment, you're in love, and nothing matters more.

But I don't know. I don't want another problem, that's all.

Age Old Question

If you're in love but afraid to tell the person for some reason,
just think about this:

one moment of embarrassment?

or

a lifetime of regret?

Whoever made this question is either really really confident or is really really lucky. Or is just naive.

Liking someone from afar is just infatuation. One can't fall in love by just second-hand information about another. One has to experience the person, know him well, and vice versa. Know his irritating habits and his endearing quirks and love him because of everything he is. Then steadily, that person grows into perfection in your eyes. He makes your heart leap the instance you see him, but at the same time you are comfortable around him. Falling into friendship is inevitable. At some point, a couple will be friends. But we're not talking about couples.

We're talking about one-sided love.

When you're in love with someone and you don't know if that person feels the same way, or even just like likes you, it's scary. You maintain your position on the safe grounds-->friendship. Be his friend. Be there for him. Hope that some time soon he'd notice you.

How do you know if he already likes you?

I don't know either. Maybe he's just a naturally sweet guy. Maybe he treats everyone the same way. You should know that if you know the person. If you're his friend, you'd know what he likes, and who he likes. I know it's hard. This is the bitter part of friendship. And there is a great chance you'd be stuck in this place forever. If you really love the person, it doesn't matter because having him in your life is enough for you to be happy. You wish him to be happy, even if his happiness lies not with you.

So, the question.

For me, it's not the lifetime of regret that I fear. It's not the momentary embarrassment either. It's the awkwardness that may follow that scares me. It's not like you can just go, "Hey, I love you. Oh. I'm just a friend to you. Forget this happened then! Let's go back to the way we were before."

Unless you have a huge inkling that the person loves you back, don't do this. Especially if you'd like to keep the person as a friend. Or unless you're leaving for another country and not coming back for a long time. Because believe me, I've seen proof of this, and it's not pretty. Sure, he might say that yeah, we're still the way we were. But nobody can erase that moment. When he looks at you he'd be thinking, "Oh my gosh. Is this person still in love with me? I hope I'm not giving off signals that I like her too because I don't."

This is just my opinion though. Go ahead and embarrass yourself if you want.

As for me, I'm going for the going-abroad-and-not-coming-back-for-a-decade approach. Maybe by then he'd have forgotten about it. Or maybe he'd have time to miss me or something. But that's just hoping. We'll never be anyway.

Raining! Raining!

Kagagaling ko lang sa school. Lech. Com Res lang pasok ko ngayon. Nakakatamad pa pumasok kasi ulan nang ulan. Hindi naman sobrang lakas at pahinto-hinto rin pero hindi matatakasan ang baha. Kung taga Pinas ka malamang alam mo yun. Kahit ambon, baha na.

So paggising ko kaninang umaga at nakita kong mga YM status message ng mga DLSU people ay variety ng "walang pasok!", ang saya ko na! Ilang beses na rin pumasok ang kuya ko dito sa kwarto, nagtatanong kung wala ba kaming pasok. Eh each time na tanungin niya yun, tinitingnan ko cellphone ko. Wala talagang nagtetext. May pasok.

Ayun. Pagdating ko sa school, nag mud bath nanaman itong paa ko. Tapos dumating na mga kablock ko nagerereklamo na basa na raw mga mediyas nila. Squish squish na ang tunog pag maglakad sila. Si Diwa nagpiga pa ng mediyas sa CR. Tapos may babaeng lumabas, sabi nagdeclare na daw ng suspension of classes ang Malacañang. At iyon ang masusunod above all other announcements. Aysus! Eh wala namang sinabi ang school! Tapos lumabas ang prof namin. Sabi oo nga, dapat suspended na ang klase. Pero since andun na raw naman kami, ituloy nalang. Alanghiya! Eh meron pa namang graded recitation at hindi ko pa nababasa ang pinapabasa! Buti nalang hindi ako natawag kundi tinungangaan ko lang siya.

Oh well. At least nasa bahay na ako ngayon at masaya kasi malamig yey! Pwede akong magsuot ng long sleeves bukas, kung ganito pa ang weather. Sana naman. Ang lamig lang ang silver lining sa araw na ito.

Alien Spaceship Chasing a Chicken, a Pig, and a Duck

Chicken Little is on on Disney channel. I haven't seen that movie yet, and now I'm not even watching it properly. Contrary to popular belief, this kind of movie requires a little bit of concentration. Now I don't know where those aliens came from.

Sigh. I blew my orals. I don't wanna think about it. What's important is that I have about a month and a half to pull them up to decent scores.

Wow, his movie is like, cartoon animal version of War of the Worlds. Weird. I did love the part where the pig and the duck were singing Wannabe in karaoke. That was hilarious.

The orange, three-eyed, furry alien kid is adorable... Aw. Maybe if gave one like that to Angus he'd be happy. Eee! How cute.

I actually have not much to say right now. Except that the rain stopped, and that's a bit of a bummer because classes could be canceled... I'm not even sure whether I want classes to be canceled. I've not much to do anyway... Which I think is time for me to do some long-postponed reading. Ha. Go me!

Next week will be Japanese week in a hotel. I forgot which one. I so love Japanese food!!! But then my friends scheduled a "get wasted" weekend next week. And my dad's gonna come home from a business trip that same weekend and bring my brother and I to lunch/dinner. Hmm. I really really wanna be there for Japanese week! But I also really really wanna be with my friends because two of them are gonna be leaving for abroad in a few weeks. And it will be months until I see them again.

Oh well. Now I have to go off and attend to my neglected diary.

Orals and a Job

Sigh.

In less than twelve hours, I'm going to have my Philosophy orals. I still have nothing Philo-related in my head. Ugh. Will I pass? Hopefully. I'm gonna have a 3-hour sleep and then wake up and cram my notes into my brain.

If the rain I'm hearing outside doesn't stop until around 6AM... We won't have classes... Maybe. Lucky me then. :)

Awhile ago, I went to an interview for a tutoring job. They made me write an essay in Chinese. It's official. I've forgotten how to write Chinese. I now have Lanbridge's Concise Chinese-English Dictionary in front of me. I'm gonna review my Chinese after my orals.

I'm not sure I'd get the job though. It's gonna be my first if I get it. The money would be really useful. But I have to sacrifice my org life. Ugh. I really really enjoy my org, specifically Celadon. It would be sad to not be able to go to GAs and meetings and stuff. :( But I'll try to juggle those things if ever.

Oh, and I now love ACDC. Shame on me for not listening to them before. They rock! And Supernatural rules!!!!!

{{{(>.<)}}} (o.O) \(^o^)/

Yatta!!!!!!!!

That would've been cooler if it were written in Japanese characters. Lol. But I don't know Japanese. I guess neither does my computer.

Anyway, hell week's over!!! At last. And I survived. Although next week could be another one, but bah. I don't wanna think about that now.

Today's my second celebration of my 20th birthday. I pigged out with my friends. For skinny people, they sure eat a lot. And I mean A LOT. I think those were three to four packs of bacon they just finished. Seriously. I only ate about three strips. I don't even think I ate that much... Okay, I had 2 pcs. of chicken, a bit of pansit canton... And that was that. By the time I was eating a piece of mango float, I felt like throwing up already. What's wrong with me?!

But I guess I should be happy if I'm losing my appetite.

Well, I forgot to take pictures again. Seriously. And this is one of those memorable (and really embarrassing) birthdays. I should've taken pictures...

I wish I could teleport like Hiro.

More later (maybe). Too sleepy.

Sigh...

I don't know. I'm feeling gloomy today. Hay. I am happy that it's finally the weekend. I have a couple of days to recuperate from endless sleepless nights. Although there's still Philo orals and long test to go.

I'm also gonna have a small party with my friends. Belated celebration of my birthday. I miss them a lot and it's great that we're finally gonna see each other again.

So why do I feel so weird?

I don't know. It's one of those days, I guess. Hay. I don't know. I should be happy. Happy happy happy. I was happy awhile ago. Where did happiness go?

I've had the song Scars by Papa Roach all day in my head. I'm feeling kind of...just like that. Like mad and depressed. Whatever. Mad at myself. Mad at the world. Mad for feeling like this when I'm supposed to be ok.

"My weakness is that I care too much."

I guess right now the angst has gone and only a feeling of helplessness is left. Gentle hopelessness. And I want it to stop. I'd rather be angry. At least anger can be let out. But feeling like there's nothing I can do just eats me up.

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up

I wish I may
And I wish I with all my might
For the love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life

You'd think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time
To people that I know

Their wishes all come true
So I've got to believe
There's still someone out there who
Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star
It seems like someone else keeps getting what I'm wishing for
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are
I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
But I can't give my heart
One good reason why

Everywhere I look
It's lovers that I see
Seems like everyone's in love
With everyone but me

Why can't I be as lucky
As those other people are
Oh I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star


:(

Tep is Happy Today

Today, I turn 20.

I feel so old... But oh well. I can't make myself stay 17 forever. I kinda miss that year...

I had a blast today. Really. I was up by 6am because I was gonna have breakfast with my friends at 7:30. I arrived kinda late (15 minutes late to be exact... or was it 16?). My other friends had a 9am class so we had to hurry. We did enjoy that brief moment of company. I love them! The four of us who didn't have class today hung out a few minutes more. We went for another round. It was a buffet after all. :) I felt like puking after that.

So, there were 3 of us left. Since Eastwood (the mall part) was still closed, we took a cab to Gateway. It was too early for movies. I can't watch The Simpsons with them because I was gonna watch it with my friends later. So we watched Blind Dating. Chris Pine was oh so cute!

But before that, before Dimpsy left, we did a little photoshoot:





That was a lot of fun. Medyo malabo lang nga ang camera ko... Argh!

So after that, I went to Greenhills to meet my high school friends. We had to hang out for about an hour since we missed the 3:00pm showing. I was feeling tired so I was a bit silent. Maybe the weight of the big 2-0 is bearing down on me... My friend said that I'm "officially" single now. Well, haven't I been for the last 20 years?! What's the difference now? Well, maybe because time is running out? I don't know. I've kind of come to terms with being single...And maybe for the rest of my life. Because hoping is one way of hurting oneself. At least I won't be super disappointed when no one comes along.

Anyhoo, we watched The Simpsons! It was a bit corny at the end, but overall, the movie was just hilarious! I love it! I still can't get the Spider Pig song out of my head! I'm gonna download that later... I love the orchestra twist they added to it.

I got home at around 8pm. Another food fest began! I'm full to the brim right now. Some relatives of mine came. I was tired (still am) so I wasn't much of a host...Sorry guys! But I just absolutely love my cake...

I know know, this is like, absurd for a 20-year-old. But it's my birthday. And I pick what I want. Lol! It's a bit small, but it's great. :) I think the cake people who made this thought that I was cuckoo or something. My brother said that when he told them that he was having the cake made for a 20-year old, the woman laughed. Ha.


I haven't sliced through Harry yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Or maybe I'll preserve it forever...

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!! And thanks so much to everyone who greeted me! Thanks! You absolutely made my day. :)